11/17/2009

Wonderful new site & blog

I couldn't wait to share this new blog/site/forum I've discovered.  I can't even remember HOW I found it, but I'm glad I did.
I am a member of the Sense and Sensibility Forum (though I've not been on to chat in a while).  I really enjoy that one and found several blogs to follow of a few ladies that do lots of sewing.  I really anticipate reading up on what they have been creating.
Well, I found this new site and joined the forum and follow the blog.  I've ordered my first items from them (very inexpensive...but it was also on clearance ;->). 
Anyway, it's a quilt store in Missouri by the name of Missouri Star Quilt Co.  They have daily deals saving you from 30% - 70%, but they also have free giveaways.  I've not been able to participate in one yet, but I was reading the blog about the give away on Friday and man oh man, it sounds like it was a good one. 
This site also has free tutorials.  I LOVE THIS!!!!  I did find A LOT of tutorials on youtube, but I would get into a rhythm of watching the tutorials and would want to watch those by a particular person and would always end up watching several other peoples tutorials.  So to find these all on one site was a blessing to me. 

So, check it out when you get a minute, if you are so inclined.  I've got some quilting to do!!!  


Grace

Well, it's been a little over a week that my husband has been home.  We are all trying to relearn and transition back to being a 5 person household.  If I can be honest, it's not easy.
I was crying out to God one day because I had all these expectations of his return and let me tell you this is nothing like what I had envisioned.  As I was crying and pouting, God said, you prayed for his return and I've done that, do you not think I can change him into the man of God I called him to be?  OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I said, well yes Lord, but.  He said there are no buts, you are to extend grace to him just as I extend my grace to you.  It won't be easy, but I will help carry the burden.  I will be here to hear your cries and when you are done, you will be light and salt to him.  Plant the seeds and let me water and grow them.  It is not my desire that he be lost to the world.  It is not my desire that he profess to be a Child of God and yet live like the world.  If I covered, kept, and protected you and your children for 4 years...I will not stop now.  This is not about you, but it is about My glory. 
Really, after the Lord finishes "spanking" you in that manner, there really isn't much more to say except...Yes Lord!
So, please continue to pray for me and my family as the children and I strive to be salt and light to my husband. 
We are specifically praying that his will be broken so that God can step in and be the Lord of His life.  This is only day #2 but he is getting up with me each morning to pray and read a portion of scripture.  We are also trying to get back in the groove of family devotions and he has participated in that as well.  So continued prayer that he become increasingly hungry for the things and ways of God and allows the Word of God to transform his life and way of thinking.

Blessings and much thanks for your prayers!



Grace

11/11/2009

She's Back!!!

Akyra returned home yesterday evening.  Her flight went smoothly and she handled things well.  To see the transformation that has taken place within her is amazing. 
God NEVER ceases to amaze me. 
We still have much to work through, but because He loves us so much, I know that He will be with us every step of the way.  There is nothing He wouldn't do for us.
I had allowed the enemy to whisper to me yesterday and he taunted me all day long.  What if...
her plane didn't make it, what if she missed the flight, what if...
It's those what if's that can make you go insane. 
Yet, none of those things happened and as we sat around the table eating and listening to this very "quiet" child chatter on and on about her trip, I gave praises to God for taking care of this lamb that He blessed me with. 

Now, my turn, my turn, as I jump up and down waving my arms wildly about.  I need a Journey to His Heart as well.  I want that transformation in my life too.  I desire to relinquish this baggage I carry with me.  I want to be free!!!
Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to come together in His Word and that the girls will go forward in their journeys. 




11/10/2009

Praise & Fear...My Oxymoron

Thursday, Nov. 5th, my husband returned home.  It's been a long hard 4 year road of separation for us, but God has been faithful.  It still has not set in that this is real and in reality, a part of me waits for him to wake up and say "I made a mistake or I changed my mind".  This is where my fear overtakes me.
We've got much garbage to work through and the challenges we face will not be easy.  
I do trust that God can do ANYTHING and yet, I know as humans, we have the ability to make choices that are not always pleasing to the Lord.


Every time I went in the direction towards divorce, God clearly said no.  It finally got to the point that I said Lord if you intend for me to remain without him or any mate, I will obey.  My heart was heavy and yet He continued to give me dreams and visions of reconciliation.  It seemed like merciless torture to be honest.  


The enemy constantly whispers in my ear reminding me that he "returned" home once before for a week and still chose to walk away.  So I'm daily having to fight him off and repeat God's truths.


So our desire is to one day renew our vows, but until that time, please keep us lifted up in your prayers.  Place us constantly at His feet before the throne.  We still have a long way to go, but we are trusting God for guidance.


All glory and praise be to Our Lord Jesus Christ who has brought things to this point and holds us in His hands!!!

11/04/2009

God Will...

Sometimes choose to tie your hands so He can be God.

My 16 year old daughter left last Saturday to attend a 10 day retreat called Journey to the Heart.  We clearly knew that this is what God had for her.  She was/is so ready for spiritual breakthrough in her life and for God to reveal Himself to her, just for her.  We also knew the enemy did not and does not want her to have or experience that freedom.  The tactics he chose, we would have never imagined or thought of, but when you finally sit down and look at the order of things, you can see the hand of the enemy all in it!!! UGH I HATE THE DEVIL!!!

Well, Friday night she twists her ankle while helping to move our dogs and get them situated.  We thought we would need to head to the hospital because of the amount of pain she was in.  I said, there is no way I'm going to put you on the plane on crutches.  This made her cry more, she said I have to go.  I told her the best thing we could do was pray for healing.  Around 4:15 AM she woke up and said God told me to get up and walk and as she hobbled with a slight limp I could see her get stronger and stronger.  It made me think of the lame man in the Bible.  By the time we got to the airport there was an ever so slight limp not noticeable to anyone that didn't know what happened the previous night.

Her ticket says 8:35 and we get to the gate at 8:25 and the lady informs us the plane is taking off as we are standing there and sure enough we look out the window and there it went.  However, she could go on standby on another flight.  Having worked in the airline industry, I know that standby does NOT guarantee you a seat and you could get bumped from flight to flight all day long.  When we get to the other gate for the next flight, that person actually gives her a boarding pass....meaning she is no longer on standby, but is booked as a passenger as though she bought and paid for a ticker for THAT flight!  Praise be to God!
We sit around for 3 1/2 hours waiting.

As the day progresses, she finally calls and says she made it safely to Chicago, HOWEVER, they can't find her luggage.  They file a missing bag report and tell her they will bring it to her as soon as it shows up.

My child is in cold, windy Chicago and I'm in Texas and there is NOTHING, did you hear me? NOTHING I can do.  By Sunday evening, her bags are still no where to be found. 

My heart ached to hear my child crying saying she's cold and her coat is no where to be found.  She thinks of all the skirts I lovingly made for this trip and she's heartbroken, her new Bible is also among the missing, not to mention all of her personal items.  She's frantic, yet thankful for all the girls that loaned her clothes for Sunday, but she can't take a shower and she's feeling defeated. 

What does a mother do when her hands are tied and she hears the cries of her child, but can physically do nothing about it?  Well, let me tell you, I cried and I prayed and I cried and I prayed.  Finally I said Lord she was Yours before she was ever mine.  You orchestrated this for her, so You could show Yourself strong and mighty in her life.  Please Lord, just have mercy and make it quick. 

It wasn't a matter of my faith or belief that God was/is able.  It was a mother's natural heart aching to comfort her child in the midst of her pain and agony.  Yet, the only thing I could do is give her back to the one who created her before time began.  Talk about a real life practical releasing/surrendering of someone you care so deeply for.

Oh, but isn't this just like God?  He is our Father and He so desperately wants to comfort us in the midst of our pain and agony.  We at times, because He does allow us free will and when we choose to go against Him we tie his hands.

Sunday night, a couple of the leaders took her to Walmart and purchased EVERYTHING my sweet girl will need for the remainder of her trip...to include a nice warm coat. 

Now I pray daily that she is comfortable enough to focus on God and God alone.  Please join with me in prayer that her spiritual eyes will be opened to what He has for her to see and that her spirit would be awakened to the things of God.  Breakthrough is what she longs for and needs.  She desires to know God as her own and not just what mama says.  She's seen Him bless her family but she needs to know His blessing for herself.

As of today, Wednesday - 11/4, her original bag has still yet to be located.  Please pray it turns up.  Also pray for her safe return home...I can't wait to see the transformation in her life on Tuesday - 11/10 when I lay eyes on her again.

In Christ,



Sin...what do you call it?

As a Christian, we hear or know the things we shouldn't do or the things we should do.  If we aren't careful, those things will/can become legalistic in our lives.  It's not until we look at things from God's perspective that we can really truly begin to see them clearly. 
We look at our lives and call things in our lives mistakes, situations, issues, personality traits.  God looks at those same things and calls them sin.
As a FOLLOWER of Christ, we should be looking at things the way HE sees them.  Now I've learned that we can be believers in Christ, but there is something TOTALLY different about being a FOLLOWER of Christ as well.

When we confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and we accept Him as our personal Savior, then we are Believers in Christ.  We have said we accept the blood that cleanses us.  We believe in our hearts that He took our sins, died on the cross and rose again and sits at the right hand of God.

When we begin to try to walk out our lives pleasing to God (knowing that we stumble because we are FAR from perfect), when we see things from His perspective and point of view, then we are Followers of Christ.

I had a conversation with someone and they basically said "Just accept me for who I am".  Those words at first just kinda sat in my spirit and then I realized what they were really asking me to do.  You know if the person had said, accept that I have one leg shorter than the other, I'm blind or deaf, or I'm 5 inches shorter than you, I'm slim, I'm healthy, etc. then those things I could accept, that is who they are and they can't do much about it.  HOWEVER, when a person is clearly walking in sin, rebellion, and disobedience, God calls those things sin and as True Christians and Followers of Christ, we can do no less than to call those things sins as well.  These are choices.

Now this may mean we lose friends along the way, it may even mean they are offended that we would dare to call what they are doing a sin, but as Sisters & Brothers in the Faith, we can do no less than to look that person in the eye and say you are wrong not because I say you are wrong, but because God says you are wrong.  God loves the sinner, but He HATES the sin.  We should be no different.  If God says sin is an abomination to Him and He instructs us to stay far from it, then who are we, mere earthlings, to say well, God is such a loving God that He doesn't mean it that way?  Who are we to compromise so as not to offend anyone?

He clearly says in His Word that we are to be a peculiar person.  We should not look nor act like the heathen of this world.  We should stand apart, not trying to fit in.  We should boldly and confidently say to one another, I love you, but your choices or actions are sinful in the sight of God.  Your pleasure and enjoyment bring Him no pleasure, it is your soul that is His utmost concern.

When we get into trying to keep a happy medium and not offend, we are actually telling our sisters and brothers in Christ that sin is ok and we will let God be the judge.  Though we are not to judge the person, we are to judge the persons actions.  This is where you get iron sharpening iron Prov. 27:17.  We are not to condemn our sisters and brothers, but to lovingly point out their sin.

So as I shared with this person that they weren't wanting me to accept them per say, but to accept their sin, they snickered and shook their head.  My heart was/is saddened by that.  If they only knew that the Father loves them so very dearly and He wants none of us to walk in sin or rebellion.  I can only imagine His heart and the heaviness He feels when we openly choose to do just that. 

Oh that we may not grieve the Holy Spirit.

Heavenly Father,
I thank you so much for your love and I pray that as you have opened my spiritual eyes to many things, that you will open the spiritual eyes of my blog followers and the one I speak of in this blog.  That they may see things from your perspective.  That they may hate sin and run far from it.  The very thought of sin becomes like garbage to them and they would spiritually puke from the smell and sight of it.  For those of us that see others in out right rebellion and sin, give us words to speak that would be edifying to them and guide them right back to You.  Help us to remember to love the sinner, but to hate the sin. 
May each of us begin to see ourselves as You see us and that You would humble our hearts to truly repent of the things that grieve You and cause You pain. 
May You be glorified in this post and all others.  Speak to my heart and the hearts of others, reminding us of who we are in You and what You have given us through Your Son, Jesus Christ!
AMEN

*I in no way wrote this to stand on a soap box to the one I am speaking of in this blog.  This person has no link to my blog and will therefore never read it. 



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