Some have written with great concern over my last entry. I want to say that this is not the first time I have been in a dark spot. This just happened to be a VERY dark spot in my life. In each dark spot (there have only been 2), I knew that God was with me and that this was something I had to go through in order to get to another level that God was taking me.
I can now rejoice, even though those times were rough, ugly and extremely dark, my God brought me through. He would not allow me to call anyone or confide in anyone. He walked with me in this time, even though I felt alone. I clearly recall a moment while sitting on my bed in the "dark" that as long as I called the name of Jesus, I felt His presence even in the oppression. It was when I stopped calling His name that I felt so utterly alone. Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep calling on the name of Jesus.
There is just something about that name!!!!
Anyway, please don't be overly concerned in that I will harm myself, I won't. I trust that God has held me in His hands and will continue to do so, even when He allows me to go to the darkest of pits. I feel it is for the benefit of others that I am allowed to venture into the pit. Thankfully it has only been twice. But since I have voiced a desire to be a pastors wife and to counsel other wives, as well as to go on mission trips, I know I have to go through some things in order to not only be a testimony for others, but to also know where they are coming from and help them through.
God is good and more than able to conquer the enemy who has no power. My God is able to do more than I can imagine and I fully expect that! ;->
Continue to pray for me as I go along on this journey. I know God will work it out in the end and it will be for His glory. In the meantime, I also know I need to be covered by the blood of Christ and prayers from fellow sisters and brothers in Christ.