Shattered World

In 2 weeks it will be official. I will be a divorced woman. I know we've been separated for 8 years. I know that we were living single lives all this time. However, I still held out hope. I still believed God would restore our marriage.
Again, through a text message.....NEVER face to face, He said it's over. My heart is broken, my world is shattered and I find myself holding on to God for dear life. Clinging to hope in Christ that He will heal me and make me whole.
I will never go down this path again. My heart has had enough. They either leave or pass away and I'd rather not deal with either one. So I put one foot in front of the other to try to regain my balance, step, and composure.
I never wanted a legacy of divorce. While I know that God has not been the cause of this, I do know that God has allowed it to take place. I cling to Him to not find the answers or understand why, but to just become stronger and wiser through this. One day I will be able to lift my head again and hold it high, knowing that I did all I perceived that God wanted me to do. I will come through the flood and not drown and the fire and not be burned. And there will be beauty for my ashes. One Day....



Life Interuppted...

Has God ever humbled you? Not in a shame on you kinda way, but a gentle, loving, fatherly way? That way that says I've had this all along, now I need you to step back and let me be God? I've got this in control and I actually DO know what's best for you and those in your life.

Well, He never ceases to amaze me. I'm finding my eyes being unveiled and I'm sure there is more to come. I'm reading this book here ........ And in just the first 2 1/2 chapters I'm being touched by the hand of The Lord.

I've been viewing things ALL wrong. Even after listening to Pastor Evans each Sunday say we need to view things from a Kingdom perspective; Life Interrupted is causing, no, making me look at myself in the mirror. To face some truths about myself.

I've balked at what God has asked of me - praying diligently for my coworkers/Joseph. The burdens/pressures of my job. The frightening unknown of future divorced life, singleness, and realizing that I don't truly hold God in high esteem nor do I trust His will and sovereignty.

God's hand has always been in my life, upon my life, in my circumstances. But truth be told I've not looked at His will as perfect and best for my life. I have ALWAYS looked at life and thought in all circumstances and situations that I knew/know best for me and everyone else.

I'm so thankful God is humbling me and beginning to remove the veil from my eyes. May I begin to not only quote Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalms 37:4, but that I may also live it and walk it out for His glory!




As I was getting out of the car, this caught my eye.  Amazing!!  God is so awesome.  I remember just last fall cutting the fern like plants back and covering with lots of leaves so they could rest for the winter.  Over time the leaves began to break down and compost so I added more periodically.  I had begun to wonder when the first spear would appear.  Had I cut back the ferns too soon and too low?  Just lots of questions.  And then to my surprise this beautiful spear was saying hello!  Last year the spears that came up were much thinner and frail looking.  They were sweet and scrumptious (the couple I picked and ate).  I will be tasting this one very soon...I'll keep you posted on how it tastes. 



Garden 2013 wk 1

It's hard to believe it's that time again, but I'm very excited that it is.
Spring is in the air!  I know it isn't official yet, but it sure feels like it.

pea seedlings

This is actually wk 2 for my 2013 garden.  A week ago I planted several seeds and this week they have sprouted.  Tomato seeds and peas are going strong.  It's amazing each time I plant a seed, to see how God brings it forth.

tomato seedlings

Last week I also ordered some seeds and they arrived today...  
seeds from Gurney's and Baker Heirloom seeds

pepper seeds, more tomato seeds, borage, carrots, okra, mesclun, leaf lettuce, echinacea, stevia, mustard seeds, cress, parsnip, and cantaloup.  I'm still waiting for my plants: kiwi, grapes, raspberries, goji berries, lemon grass, strawberries, and an olive tree.

Since we are still living with a friend, I am still having to think and garden with transporting my garden in mind.  I've planted 4 raspberry bushes already, a strawberry/lettuce pallet, and I planted a few herbs and Swiss Chard.

rosemary, oregano, parsley

Swiss Chard
rosemary, thyme, cilantro

strawberry/lettuce pallet

I'll be doing another strawberry pallet since I'm awaiting 25 more strawberry plants.  I actually have 3 more pallets and I am trying to figure out what to do with the other 2.  I know I'll figure it out, but right now my mind is blank.  I've got a ton of pots and I've laid out 2 cinder block gardens that I plan to dismantle because they are temporary and I don't feel like breaking them down to move them later, plus where they are will be completely shaded in a couple of months and there isn't much I am growing that will grow in full shade..  So I'll arrange everything to be in pots.  I also purchased 2 55 gallon barrels that I'll cut in half and turn into 4 separate garden beds.  I'll get pics of those later.

I have access to the most amazing compost and some year old wood chip mulch.  I'll be gardening in pots using the Back to Eden method.  The movie is a must see and really makes you change your perspective on gardening.  I wish someone had shown me this method 12 years ago, but I'm thankful to know it now.  It's also because of this method that I know God does not have it in mind for me to take Master gardener classes.

When I'm blessed once again with land, I'll be using the Back to Eden and Square Foot gardening methods simultaneously. 

A couple of weeks ago I went to a friends and helped her get her garden prepped....

Rich black compost

wood chip mulch added on top of compost
When I look at her first garden plot (she's planning several more beds on their 2 acres), I see what I am hoping for.  The only difference will be that my beds will consists of many, many square foot garden beds using the Back to Eden method for growing in.
I'm excited and anticipating great things!!!

What are you planning for your spring planting?  I do want to encourage those with small spaces, living in apartments or renting homes that won't allow them large plots of land for gardening.  You can ALWAYS use pots.  You may only be able to grow one or two things, but that is one more thing you are growing and one less thing you are buying.  So plant away!!!!




I'm not sure where the time is going.  I don't have much time to do anything it seems.  School is seriously back in full swing and it's keeping me busy far beyond what I thought.  I have one day a week to just relax and with preparing my garden on that day, I don't do much else.  I get online check email and that's about it.  I was watching YouTube videos daily, but not anymore.  I'm not complaining, just really ready to get school over.

So, I'm trying to get ready for spring by planting seeds and looking to move my garden beds.  I have 4 beds that range in size from 4x2 - 4x8.  I filled them partly with compost and then covered them completely in leaves.  I also have several pots as well that have various things in them and I covered them with leaves for the winter as well.

I've planted a slew of seeds, tomatoes, lettuces, spinach, peas, green beans, swiss chard, carrots, greens, onions, leeks, garlic, etc.  I'm hoping to be able to order some more seeds in the next week, as well as some strawberries, berry bushes, and prayerfully a couple of fruit trees.
Since we are still not in our own home, I'm having to put 90% of my things in pots or totes.  I plan to put my fruit trees and bushes in the totes, my strawberries will be in pallets.  My asparagus are still in pots and I'll leave them their, though I think I will add more compost to them.  I'm still not sure where to put my garden beds, the area is mostly shaded.

I can't wait to get back into my own place.  It really is frustrating and a great patience training.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is temporary and when it's all said and done and I've pushed through, I will have accomplished so much for myself and my kids.

So what's your greatest frustration and greatest accomplishment? 



Day 7

I feel so bad, I've really been slacking.  However, I have a good reason.  I've been busy studying and doing homework.  I've not had time to do much else.

So here is how things are going.  I feel GREAT!!!!  I've had moments here and there where I ask myself, Now Why am I doing this again?  And then I go down the list of why and I'm ok.  It actually hasn't been too difficult.  I'm enjoying it for the most part.  Enjoying juicing different things and finding out how they taste in a tall glass with ice.  I've had the couple of juices that were just overwhelming or down right horrible.  But for the most part it's been delicious.  Tonight I'm drinking a glass of beets, cucumbers, carrots, ginger.  I'm also having a glass of cucumbers, apples, oranges.  In the morning I'll add pineapple to the cucumber, apple, orange juice.
As long as I stay hydrated I'm fine.

Oh, I've got to do some research about the beet juice I drank last night.  It had me feeling a bit weird.  It also gave me a headache.  So I've got to find out what that's all about.

I've not weighed myself and don't plan to until day 10.  I've been watching lots of videos and getting ideas of how I want to go forward after exclusive juicing.  I know I will incorporate juicing as a meal re-placer for breakfast and lunch, with the occasional smoothie for breakfast.  I tend to skip breakfast and lunch and that's not always the best.  For supper I will incorporate salads with every meal, if that isn't what most of my meals consist of entirely.

My next bit of research is to find out how to ease out of juicing.  Any ideas, pass them along.

I'll definitely have a video for my final day!  



The Beginning:  I find it hard to drink water the first thing when I get up.  I am just not fond of the taste of water at that particular time.  However, I finally got a 20 oz bottle of water down along with a coffee cup of ice to munch on and felt pretty good.  I then got busy completing an open book test I had.

Day 3 Recap:  Feeling very tired and sluggish.  I have a slight headache that is annoying, but not too painful.  My body aches at times but not too bad.  I can't seem to focus and I have to finish an open book exam and complete reading 7 chapters for classes this week.
I've spent no real valuable time with God the last 2 days and I'm trying to work on my schedule to rectify that.  I need somewhat rigid schedules to function whether I'm fasting or not.  It's a bit hard however when I can't totally focus on one thing right now.  Going to finish my open book exam and leave the reading for tomorrow.  I'll spend the rest of the day in bed vegging out on videos and movies.  



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