How am I supposed to work when in my heart there is so much worship going on?
I want to fall on my face right now and just dwell in His presence.
I know I can do it in my heart and spirit, but oh I long for the days of
being a stay at home mom, when the children knew not to disturb me because
I was flat on my face worshipping.

So, until I can get to a place and fall to my knees or on my face, I'm doing
it in my heart and I'm praying no one walks in to disturb the place I am in
with my Savior at this very moment!

...And so it begins...

I had written some time ago about my struggle with jealousy and envy, rage and anger. I said then that God had begun to deal with me on these issues. I knew then that it would not be long before He began to unearth specific issues in my heart and life and I was right.

God led me to seek out a friend about a week ago. She suggested that we read Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I agreed, but the funny thing is, I've had that book for several months. I started reading it and threw it across my room. Well, before the Lord led me to seek out this friend, He told me it was time to pick this book up again too. Then she suggested we read it...hmmmmmmmmmmm, yeah God is all in my mail and He's proving it by not only speaking to me, but through others as well. ;-) Isn't that so like God, to confirm what He himself has spoken to you by also speaking it through someone else???!!!

Well, I obeyed. I began to read it today and am also going to read it with another dear friend. All I have to say is...I've only read the introduction, but there is such a healing peace even in that small portion.

I'm nervous, I'm scared, not only of the steps I know God is going to require of me, but also the things He will shake up, unearth, and have me to deal with and face yet again...even if for the sake of handing them all over to Him. However, I must say this, I AM READY for the journey. I'm ready for healing, for a breakthrough, and to move on. I know He has much for me to do and much to give me (not just tangible things) and that I can receive none of it nor do any of what He wants me to do as long as I am holding on to the smelly trash that keeps me far from the presence of my Savior! I long to lovingly lay at His feet and bask in the presence of His Spirit! And by His Grace, I will.

To think one day, the atmosphere, our flesh, this world, will no longer separate us from laying at his feet. We will be able to lay there and hear Him speak words of love and adoration for us, as we also speak those words back to Him. As much as I love Jesus now, I wonder if my heart will explode at the depth of love when I see Him face to face? Will I stand in His presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine!

Ezekiel 3:17-19

I was dictating this scripture to my children for one of their school lessons and boy did it make me stop and say hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It's one of those make you think scriptures; am I applying this to my life? Have I not spoken up on behalf of the Lord because I was afraid or because I didn't think the person would receive it or that they may not be ready? May god show me my errors and give me opportunity to speak up/out for His glory that one might be saved!

17"Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.
18.When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood.
19.But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.

God did command us to go out into all the world and share the good news! However, how many times have you been faced with the opportunity to do so and struggle with doing it? How many times have you said...but they are just not ready to hear, they'll reject it. God never said share with those only you think are ready. He said share! To you they may not seem ready, but we cannot see the work that He has begun in their hearts. And true, they may very well reject His word of truth, but it is not for us to decide the time, we are just to share. We share, whether they accept it or reject it. We are called to plant the seed. It is God who waters it and nurtures it. This is discipleship.

Will you go & share? Or will you please man rather than God?

Be blessed!


Spring Has Arrived

Not only is it official by calendar date, but I have spring fever and I don't want to go to work!
There is so much I need to do, want to do. I've yet to get my garden planted but at this point, where is the time?
I've gone back to work since the surgery and my plate is already overloaded.
I have plants that need to get in the ground, but I must first build the boxes for them. Prayerfully this weekend I will feel strong enough and energized enough to get started. I can't wait to taste fresh tomatoes, peppers, corn, and oh I think I'll try eggplants again too. They were wonderful the first time I tried them. Oh and onions, greens, watermelon, and cantelopes. I even bought grapes, blueberrys, and rasberry plants!
Ok, gotta stop thinking about it for now or I just might walk out of this building and head home....hmmmm before 5 o'clock!!!! LOL


WHAT are you full of?

Service today was exceptional! I can't think of a Sunday Service that has not been good, but this one was by far the best. Ok, one of the best! LOL
Pastor Evans was not there so he had Pastor Gibson speak. Pastor Gibson is a rare find. He is very transparent and on fire for the Lord. He ALWAYS has a song to sing unto the Lord, even though his voice is not the best and he's usually off key, but he doesn't let that stop him from giving praises unto the Lord. He is just real with his faith and isn't afraid to show you where he's at in his walk with God. I've not heard him speak and walked away feeling like God was not speaking directly to me. The presence of the Holy Spirit seems to envelope the place and the presence is oh so sweet.
He asked that one question...What are you full of? Ephesians 3:14-21, John 8:32, 14:16, 26, John 15:5; Luke 24:49, Acts 1:8, 2:4, 6:3
Could what you are full of be keeping you from being lit up?
Is what you're full of working for you?
I had to stop and confess that I am NOT filled with the Holy Spirit, but oh how I long to be.
He made a statement...when you are so filled with the Holy Spirit and you're squeezed by lifes trials/tribulations, the Spirit is what flows from you. The Light of the Spirit is ever shining, no matter the circumstances.
How many times I've had to deal with someone that was getting on my nerves and I was rude or short with them! That was not the Holy Spirit flowing from me. And how many times have I justified such behavior? Oh, I shutter to think upon that one!!!

Lord, not only bless me with a heart like Yours, but Father, fill me to over-flowing with Your Holy Spirit. May I be a vessel that the Spirit dwells within.

And if I may add a prayer from Nancy Leigh DeMoss...
Show me more of Your holiness.
Show me more of my sinfulness.
Help me to hate sin and to love righteousness as You do.
And make me holy as You are holy.

Have a blessed Sabbath!!!


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