Where to start? So much has happened in the last few weeks, I'm sure I'll forget something. So many people were telling me to keep a journal, but alas, I did not. Sorry!
I'm praying God will bring things back to the forefront of my mind so I can share them with you. However, just this past week God blessed me with a magnificent revelation about Himself. It's nothing new....there is NOTHING new under the sun about Him. He is the great I am. So this is just a "new" revelation to ME!
I've had this great Bible study for a couple of years now and I've yet to finish it. God re-directed me back to this study over the course of the last few weeks as I was going through some extremely rough times. My faith was faltering significantly. I was ready to throw in the towel and just be done with it all. The enemy was doing his best to take me out, but God!!!!!!!!!
So I picked this study up where I left off many moons ago. Last week the session was Beholding The God of Faithfulness. It was in the first few moments of listening to Jim Berg read Lamentations 3:21-26 that I had my AH HA moment.
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.
God NEVER changes. NO matter what is going on in the earth or in my life, HE is the same! I change, you change, my children change, but HE is exactly what His Word says He is and will do exactly what His Word says He will do. Yes, even when I don't feel Him or sense Him in my circumstances. You see it's when we are going through those valleys that the enemy will whisper in our ears, much like he did with Jesus in the wilderness. Taunting you with words such as, where is your God now? If He really cared He would have done something by now. You can do this struggling on your own, you don't need God to struggle. And if he's not going to get you out of this mess, you might as well do it on your own. He pushes and pushes until you are at the brink of walking away in defeat.
Deut. 7:9 tells us Know therefore that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindess to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments;
Psalm 102:27 says But You are the same, and Your years will not come to an end.
Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?
Malachi 3:6 For I, the Lord, do not change;
James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
Jim Berg made this statetement...To change in any way would mean that God would have to change for the better (He's already absolutely perfect) or for the worse (which is impossible with absolute perfection).
I suppose those were all light bulb moments and the "knowing" of those scriptures began a deep understanding and confirmation within my heart. But it was the following statements that made me sit back in my seat and weep with understanding and repentance.
Meditate on these statements and if any of these ring true for you, I pray you will seek God in His faithfulness and know that HE is the same yesterday, today, and forever more. His Word is true.
Without a clear view of His faithfulness you will have little testimony for God. How can my life or faith testify of who God is and how good He is if I am totally wishy washy in each of the circumstances that hit me in this life? If I am to be the light then I must be able to stand on His truth and know that it is true whether I see anything take place in my life or not. No one wants to believe in a Savior that I doubt at every turn of trial or tribulation.
You will be plagued by sins you cannot overcome if you don't believe in His faithfulness. 1 Cor. 10:13, 1 Thes. 5:24, 2Thes. 3:3
I can't begin to tell you how many times I have done something and then felt deep regret for what I did and yet I would do it again and again and again.
You may be unsure of your salvation and of forgiveness of sins. 1 John 1:9
For me, I was sure of my salvation, but all the sins I continued to confess over and over basically said that I did not believe God was faithful enough to forgive me for them the first time I sought forgiveness. I would cry out in anguish over sins I had already confessed and I would beg Him to forgive me. I would tell Him repeatedly just how sorry I was. The moment this revelation was illuminated for me, I bowed my head and prayed one last time and laid those sins at His feet KNOWING that He had truly cast them into the sea of forget-fullness. In that very instant, I felt a weight lift off me and I knew I was truly forgiven and need not ever bring those things back to the Father.
You can easily be discouraged by loneliness. Heb 13:5
My BIGGEST complaint to the Lord was always, Lord, without my husband, I have no one. I'm so alone trying to do everything he would normally do and being both parents, I just wish I had someone to share all this with, someone to talk to, etc. Again, in the instant that this revelation sunk in, I could feel the presence of the Lord with me in my quiet time. I KNEW, that I KNEW He has always been with me. My mother made a statement many times about her parents regarding their death. She said they had forsaken her. I thought a parent could never forsake a child. Now that I've lost both my parents, I totally get what she was saying. She was telling me that people will come and go and they will forsake you in various ways, even death, but God.....He can't die. He is the ONLY ONE that will always be with you! He doesn't walk away from us, we walk away from Him.
You can be easily discouraged by your own failures. 2 Tim. 2:13
Yikes, I had just made a statement the night before about making a mess of things and feeling like a complete and utter fool and failure. I questioned if there was a point to even try anymore or push forward. I am no longer discouraged. You see, God knew EVERYTHING I would go through in my life before the beginning of time. So if He knew, that means He ALREADY had the solutions worked out.
Now this next one is a doozy for me.
You can be tortured by fear of what is going to happen. Psalm 121:8
I have been plagued with all kinds of fears. I had begun to fear dreaming, thinking, speaking, hoping. Fears of dying like my mother or father did. Fears of being homeless. Fears of being on the streets with my children. Fears of losing my children. Fears of losing all my worldly possessions. I've been troubled with panic attacks, high blood pressure, depression, and the list goes on. I have not been totally freed of these. I had not had a panic attack in weeks and upon reading that statement, I immediately began to have even more severe attacks waking me from sound sleep and terrors beyond belief. I know I'm on the right track or the enemy would not feel so threatened.
Without a clear view of His faithfulness you will have little trust for God. His promises will have little impact upon you. Your prayer life will have little impact.
HIS FAITHFULNESS FUELS MY FAITH!!!!!!! Now I totally understand why I felt like His promises were for everyone else but me. I felt like I needed to do more, instead of resting in the simple truth of His faithfulness. I equated God with my parents leaving me and my husband as well. In my mind I felt that if I wasn't good enough He would not hear my prayers or come to my rescue.
But the truth remains the same...My soul can rest because God's faithfulness is more than enough for me. God cannot love me any less or more than what He already does at this very moment.