Did you know that many of us did not choose nor want to be in the category of "single momma"? I know it's not what I envisioned, hoped for, or dreamed of. Nevertheless, here I am.
In the last few weeks I've had to deal with my feelings and emotions head on. I've faced anger AGAIN! I've faced loneliness, sadness, despair, and yes major depression. I began to think...if my husband were here at least I would have someone to go through this with me. Things may still look bleak, but I wouldn't be going it alone.
Well, you know it wasn't long before God spoke to my heart. I'm not alone. He's been with me the whole time. I tried to argue that point and say I would like to have someone tangible. He lead me to look out at His creation. He is here and He is with me. I may not feel His arms wrapped around me, but He gently allows me to climb in His lap and rest my head against His chest. I am safe and no matter what happens, He is with us.
THEN to top it all off, we are learning some of the names of God. 3 weeks ago we learned that His name is Elohim. He is the creator of ALL things. He is the only one that can make something from nothing. He needs no substance to create something from. And because He is the creator of the universe He makes all things perfect. Then I learned 2 weeks ago that His name is Jehovah. Now I already knew His name was Jehovah and I've even used Jehovah with the addition of Jireh and Nissi as well as many more. Jehovah means the Self Revealing One. He needs no one to reveal His glory, He does it all by Himself. This would explain verse Exodus 3:14, I AM WHO I AM.
Oh but then this past Sunday we learned He is Adonai....owner of ALL things. I can't tell you how that hit me like a ton of bricks as I sat there thinking "yeah I've given Him ownership of my life" and He gently nudged me and said "No, you've not given me ownership of everything". OUCH
Seriously? And then He began to poor things out like a flood and I could only sit there and agree. I realized and agreed that He was right. I had not given Him ownership of everything and then some things I had given Him ownership of, I had taken back...like I could do better than Him. Oh sweet Jesus, forgive me. So over the last few days I've been relinquishing things to Him that He owns anyway. I can't explain the relief that is flooding in. You see when He is the owner, He is responsible for it. I don't have to carry that burden. It was never my burden to carry to begin with. That makes me look at Matthew 11:28-30 in a whole new light. Just beautiful!!!!
I'm learning to trust Him in All things. This journey of Walking out in Faith was more necessary for me than I first thought.
Sorry to ramble, I'm just full with His love. And to top it off, I think I spoke about several different subjects in this post. HA HA
At any rate, please check out Gleaning The Harvest and if God lays it on your heart, bless a family. Us single momma's really do have it hard.
Oh and a prayer request...my son's not feeling well. Don't know if it's his allergies or a cold due to the seasons changing. Thanks & blessings!!!