God is so truly amazing to me. His timing is unlike any others. I've been praying for the relationship with God that I had 3 years ago. And it's not fully restored, but I can see God working in me towards that restoration point and beyond.
I feel blessed to be at this place at a time like this.
I am so grateful to God for giving my dear friend the insight to even share The Shack with me and keep in mind that she had not even read it at the time that she told me about it.
I believe that God used that book to begin to speak into my heart once again as He had begun 3 years ago. The intimate relationship that I so longed for and missed so desperately, is becoming a part of my life once again.
As I was reading The Shack, God began impressing upon my heart to read the story about George Mueller. All I knew was that he had started orphanages and asked no one for anything, but through the Word of God and praying the scriptures, God provided all that was needed daily.
I thought that after I read The Shack, I would just ignore that prompting, but He laid it so heavily on my heart...as though He knew I would try to ignore his initial prompting (DUH He knows everything already). So I found a free ebook online and printed the Autobiography of George Mueller. I don't even know what chapter I'm on. I've read about his life before Christ and he was a mess and steeped in sin. But around the age of 21 he was with a friend that was saved, but continued to backslide. This friend told Mueller he was on his way to a prayer meeting with a few men. Mueller, not understanding why he had such a great urge to go, asked if it would be okay for him to go along. It was at this meeting that Mueller saw for the first time a man get down on his knees to pray. This began the awakening in Mueller's life. He, over time, fully gave his life to Christ and began to head the voice of the Holy Spirit. I am at the point in the life story that he has become a pastor.
He tells about this one meeting of believing women and the women ask him what does he believe about believers baptism. He basically stated that he had been baptized at a young age and did not believe that one had to be or needed to be baptized again once becoming a believer. One of the women encouraged him to not give his opinion again until he searched the scriptures for clarity. Which he did and realized that the scriptures never say anything about being sprinkled with water, but did speak on being fully immersed in water after becoming a believer in Christ. He then tells about pulling out of the London Society. This was a group that basically stated who could or couldn't do missions, where they could go, who they could minister to, if they were eligible to even do so and so forth. He read the scriptures and could not find where man has the authority to direct another mans path concerning being a teacher, pastor, or missionary. Thus he pulled out of that group and heeded the voice of the Holy Spirit and went where He led him to go. He speaks about letting scripture confirm scripture, instead of taking mans word.
To some, these things may seem like common sense, but to one who is relearning how to walk with Christ fully dependent upon Him and Him alone, these teachings are a bit profound for me.
I know I have my trust issues, so I'm wondering if this is why the Lord led me to read about George Mueller. I don't know at this point so I will just continue to read and allow the Holy Spirit to stir within me things that have been dead or lay dormant for some time.
I am eager to see the path that God has laid out before me. The path that He wants me to follow. I know I will stray and fall and stumble, but I'm so confident now that even when I do, He is never far from me and will guide me back.
On another note, I have taken to calling God- Papa. As I read the book I felt that Papa was just such an intimate name. A name that resembled such closeness and familiarity, such as I have longed for all my life. It feels and sounds so natural and flows so easily. I love the sound and it feels so very intimate. I'm loving it. Another thing I'm loving is the presence of the Holy Spirit. I've always loved it, but didn't experience it as much as I have in this last week or so. It is so...I can't even describe it.
I'll keep you posted as the Lord continues to guide me and lead me.
In His Grip