Pimping God...

In an earlier post, I told you about a conversation I had with the kids about relationship with Christ and how many of us are pimping God.  I don't mean that in a crude way.  I don't mean to offend, but it WAS the very analogy that God gave me at the time, so I'm going to keep it real.  I won't sugar coat it, but I will share the truth of it.

If we are honest, many of us at some point in our walk with God have done just that, we've pimped Him, or treated Him as our personal santa clause or sugar daddy.  We go to church on Sunday and put in our 2-2 1/2 hours and we come out with this super hero emblem puffed up on our chest.  We did something for God and NOW we're about to get "paid".  We may read a few scriptures hear and there or say a prayer...grace before a meal, and we then have this attitude that we have done right by God.  And the remainder of the time we are out doing our own thing.  Living our lives the way we want and enjoying every minute of it.  Saint on Sunday, Heathen the rest of the time.  Two standards...
and the sad thing is we think He is pleased and SHOULD be satisfied with that!!!!  Then....
we get ticked off when nothing we want or asked for comes to fruition!

OUCH or AMEN...

We now feel God is obligated to BLESS us because we have done our duty.  We have our hands out; gimme is our middle names (and some of our first and last names too)!
We don't understand why God isn't blessing us.  We can't fathom why God has stopped the flow.  If you've ever said or thought...my prayers aren't answered, He doesn't hear me, or this Christian stuff doesn't work.....you've been pimping God!

May I dare say that God is not after being your hook up, your sugar daddy, or your santa claus.  God wants a relationship with you.  He wants to be your best friend and He wants to hang out with you.  Imagine for a moment if you will, You have a friend that never calls you to just say hi or talk.  They never come by to visit you and when you visit them, they don't have time or ignore you all together.  However, if they called and the person that answered the phone said "so and so" is on the phone, your immediate thought would be what do they WANT!
That would be because you have NO RELATIONSHIP!!!
Ever heard someone say...oh they just call when they need something?
You usually nip these types of "friendships" in the bud and cease to entertain all calls from these type of people.
WHY?????  Because you want relationship!!!!

Well, if we as mere humans want something as simple as relationship, what do you think our Great Father in heaven wants?
In Genesis 3:8, They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day..... I'd like to suggest to you that this is because He was accustomed to walking with Adam and Eve and conversing with them as friends do!  They had relationship.  They could talk with and to God, they could walk WITH Him.

There is no way possible to have friendship with the world and God.  We will hate one and love the other!!!
The issue is, what we will not accept as humans from other people, we give to God and expect Him to accept it AND be happy with it!!!  I'd like to challenge you today to examine your relationship with Him.  Search your heart and ask God to search it as well.  Ask Him to show you if you have been putting up a front or if you truly have relationship.  Ask Him to reveal your heart to you and then Ask Him to give you a new heart and teach you how to have relationship with Him.
I've been crying out for a relationship with God like others relationship with Him and TODAY, I realize that every relationship is unique and different in the sense of how He relates to each of us and yet it's not.  He speaks to us through His Word, through music, through nature, or we just may hear His still small voice whispering to us and guiding/directing us.
Read John 15.  I have the New American Standard Bible, I read it there and then looked online and read it in the New Living Translation.  I like to sum up that chapter as the relationship chapter.
God wants to freely bless us, but He does not and will not do so at the expense of relationship with Him.  That is first and foremost....Matthew 6:33 Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and ALL these things will be added to you!!!  Seek first relationship with God, Seek first His righteousness, Seek first His glory, Seek first His face, Seek first His heart........and all the blessings He has for you in heaven will be manifested here on earth.  IMAGINE if you will that when we get to heaven, God pulls back a curtain and reveals these were "YOUR" blessings.  I had them for you and because you were an heir to the throne, you were entitled to them, but because you didn't seek Me, a relationship, you missed out on these things!  And THESE THINGS don't necessarily have to be material possessions.  It can simply be PEACE!!!!!!

Have a blessed day in the Lord

I Will Not Be Moved...

This morning, I awoke with the words of a song in my heart.  I don't recall ever really listening to this song.  I do recall hearing it on the radio.  However, these words were bouncing around in my heart AND thoughts and I looked it up on YouTube.
I also prayed today!!!!!!  I actually formulated my heartfelt thoughts into words and brought them before the Lord.  I can't describe to you how good that felt.  It was refreshing.
I pray you enjoy the words to this song! I am not so into the music as I am the words.  ;-)

Walking in the Wilderness

Exodus 5:1 ~ And afterward Moses and Aaron went in, and told Pharaoh, Thus says the Lord God of Israel, LET MY PEOPLE GO, THAT THEY MAY HOLD A FEAST TO ME IN THE WILDERNESS.

I've often wondered why did they have to go into the wilderness to celebrate the Lord.
Over the last couple of days I have listened and re-listened over and over again to a sermon by Pastor Tony Evans.  Revival: The Return of God to His People.  I've listened to it sooo many times that you would think I could quote it by heart and that there couldn't possibly be something new to get out of this sermon.

As I was walking around the kitchen, listening to this sermon yet again, a statement jumped out at me regarding Exodus 5:1.  Pastor explained it like this...
We think the purpose of Pharaoh letting God's people go was so that they could get to the promised land.  That was part of the reason, but before that, He wanted to develop them in the wilderness.  He put them in a situation in the wilderness to learn to put God first, to trust Him, to walk with Him, to Serve Him.  So that when they got to the promised land they wouldn't forget God.

I thought they wandered around because of the grumbling, complaining, sinning within the people.  And then this statement jumped out at me and I tell you God spoke to me.

I am in the wilderness.  I did hear God correctly about quitting the full time job and getting closer to home.  However, God is developing me in this wilderness moment.  It is in this place that God will develop my walk, faith, trust, and relationship with Him.

I seriously ask for prayers.  I am coveting your prayers.  I know that in this wilderness time as God is developing me, that the enemy is upset.  He knows how powerful getting serious about God is.  When people of God get serious about getting right with God, the enemy comes out with all he has.  He will seek ways to disrupt and distract me from getting serious about God.  I go into this with the expectation that the enemy will come, but I'm also praying that he will not be successful with his schemes.  Please cover me and my children in prayer, that the wiles of the enemy will be thwarted.

Refiners Fire

Can I be honest with you?  I hate it!!!

The last three months have been excruciatingly hard for me, but it has brought to the surface the impurities in my heart and life.

Me have impurities????  You better believe it!!!

When you aren't going through the fire, you can wear a mask that the world sees, but God is looking at your heart and shaking His head and grieving.  He knows what is in you.  He knows what you are exhibiting to others is not the real you.  He knows the junk that is in you and He wants to get it out so that He can mold you to be more like Christ.
This is not easy, fun, nor something we (especially I) look forward to.
Nevertheless, this is exactly what has been taking place in my life since August 1.

If you remember, I quit a full time job making $3000 a month to work 2 part time jobs making approximately $1000 a month and cleaning houses.  I had planned to take that last full paycheck from my previous employer and pay all bills for the month of August and part of September and financially be ready to deal with the bills working with less each month about mid September.  I had planned it really well.  However, when I opened my mailbox on Aug. 2, I was plunged into reality and a depth of depression, despair, and uncertainty.  I received a final check of $1.56.  Yes, you read that right...one dollar and fifty six cents.  Upon further investigation with the company and through the labor board, I apparently received my July check on July 1 (even though on July 1 I hadn't worked a day in July).  Go figure....I've quite trying to understand this one.  Then the 2 part time jobs and houses has turned out to be one part time job and one house.  So from $3000 to less than $500 a month, with bills ranging from $1400-$1500 per month.

All my best laid plans were dashed and the true depth of my relationship with Christ and trust in Christ were revealed.  Basically, I've trusted in what I could see and what I could do.  So my trust in Christ was a bit shallow.  I had been leaning on my on self as my source and not the God of the Bible.  This time period has even had me questioning my relationship with Christ.  It has revealed some things that I didn't want to readily admit.

I AM SAVED!!!!  I DO BELIEVE IN GOD AND I HAVE ACCEPTED CHRIST AS MY SAVIOR.  There is no argument there.
But my faith and trust in God were/are shaky.  My relationship with Christ...shallow.
But God doesn't want shaky faith and trust, nor a shallow relationship.

This time made me question God.  Yet as the days have gone by, I had to and am having to question myself.  You see God didn't change...Malachi 3:6 For I am the Lord, I change not; Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.
So if God didn't change, that means I did.  Instead of drawing closer to God, I have allowed my circumstances to draw me away from Him and His Word.  The enemy has used this time to disrupt and distract me because he knows that the victory and answers I've been seeking are in God.  I misjudged him yet again!!!!!  I was looking for the enemy to come at me one way and he snuck in on me from a different way! UGHHHHHHHH

I've questioned if I heard God correctly.  Did I follow my own heart or did I truely hear from God to walk away from that job to be closer to home and my children?  I know sometimes He will tell us things to do that don't make since in this world.  He will have us do what seems illogical and makes no sense and yet in the end it will have brought us right to a place and in alignment with where God wanted us to be all along.
I'm on the verge of being homeless and a shelter or my van are the only options at this point and time.  Money is tight.  There are many meals skipped, not because we aren't hungry, but because we have no food.  I could go on and on, but I'm not trying to get you to a point of feeling sorry for us, but just get you to a point of understanding where I am right now.
So I've questioned, God did I hear you right?  Did I do what You wanted?  Why can't I hear directions from You now?  Where are You in my trouble?

I don't know if my house will be saved...I don't have the finances to catch up the payment nor to pay the monthly payments even if I could catch it up.  But that is neither here nor there, I need to be one with God.  That is most important!!!

I'm going to be camping out in 1 Samuel 7 for the next few days, as well as the book of Habakkuk.  Pastor Evans has a teaching on OnePlace.com with a sermon titled Revival: The Return of God to His People dated October 12/13, you can listen for free.  This is helping me a great deal right now!  It's giving me a greater understanding of what I have done and am doing and need to do.
I'm also going to be cutting back on things that are taking away my time with God.  Facebook is one of them.  I will be accessing it only twice a week beginning this week.
I know this is one area robbing me and distracting me.  I had also learned that since I am a person that MUST have a schedule to function, that I need to write in things that even seem obvious to me...devotion time, quiet time, church services, etc.  So I have done that on my laptop and now need to transfer this onto my calendar we have on the wall.

I covet your prayers, as I know the enemy doesn't mind us professing Christ, but the moment we start talking about getting to know Him more or drawing closer to Him, he will do all to usurp those plans and intentions.  So if me or my family come to your mind, please lift us up to the Lord.  My heart cries for a closeness with God that will only come from delving into His Word!!!

Happy Father's Day...

To the Lord above who is my EVERYTHING!!!  He never fails to show me just how special I am and how much He loves me.  He reminds me daily that I am His princess and priceless royalty.  There is none like my Daddy, He's the best there is.  I love Him more than life!!!  God you're awesome and amazing and I am blessed beyond measure to call you my Dad!

Praise & Fear...My Oxymoron

Thursday, Nov. 5th, my husband returned home.  It's been a long hard 4 year road of separation for us, but God has been faithful.  It still has not set in that this is real and in reality, a part of me waits for him to wake up and say "I made a mistake or I changed my mind".  This is where my fear overtakes me.

We've got much garbage to work through and the challenges we face will not be easy.  

I do trust that God can do ANYTHING and yet, I know as humans, we have the ability to make choices that are not always pleasing to the Lord.

Every time I went in the direction towards divorce, God clearly said no.  It finally got to the point that I said Lord if you intend for me to remain without him or any mate, I will obey.  My heart was heavy and yet He continued to give me dreams and visions of reconciliation.  It seemed like merciless torture to be honest.  

The enemy constantly whispers in my ear reminding me that he "returned" home once before for a week and still chose to walk away.  So I'm daily having to fight him off and repeat God's truths.

So our desire is to one day renew our vows, but until that time, please keep us lifted up in your prayers.  Place us constantly at His feet before the throne.  We still have a long way to go, but we are trusting God for guidance.


All glory and praise be to Our Lord Jesus Christ who has brought things to this point and holds us in His hands!!!

Awakenings

God is so truly amazing to me. His timing is unlike any others. I've been praying for the relationship with God that I had 3 years ago. And it's not fully restored, but I can see God working in me towards that restoration point and beyond.
I feel blessed to be at this place at a time like this.
I am so grateful to God for giving my dear friend the insight to even share The Shack with me and keep in mind that she had not even read it at the time that she told me about it.
I believe that God used that book to begin to speak into my heart once again as He had begun 3 years ago. The intimate relationship that I so longed for and missed so desperately, is becoming a part of my life once again.
As I was reading The Shack, God began impressing upon my heart to read the story about George Mueller. All I knew was that he had started orphanages and asked no one for anything, but through the Word of God and praying the scriptures, God provided all that was needed daily.
I thought that after I read The Shack, I would just ignore that prompting, but He laid it so heavily on my heart...as though He knew I would try to ignore his initial prompting (DUH He knows everything already). So I found a free ebook online and printed the Autobiography of George Mueller. I don't even know what chapter I'm on. I've read about his life before Christ and he was a mess and steeped in sin. But around the age of 21 he was with a friend that was saved, but continued to backslide. This friend told Mueller he was on his way to a prayer meeting with a few men. Mueller, not understanding why he had such a great urge to go, asked if it would be okay for him to go along. It was at this meeting that Mueller saw for the first time a man get down on his knees to pray. This began the awakening in Mueller's life. He, over time, fully gave his life to Christ and began to head the voice of the Holy Spirit. I am at the point in the life story that he has become a pastor.
He tells about this one meeting of believing women and the women ask him what does he believe about believers baptism. He basically stated that he had been baptized at a young age and did not believe that one had to be or needed to be baptized again once becoming a believer. One of the women encouraged him to not give his opinion again until he searched the scriptures for clarity. Which he did and realized that the scriptures never say anything about being sprinkled with water, but did speak on being fully immersed in water after becoming a believer in Christ. He then tells about pulling out of the London Society. This was a group that basically stated who could or couldn't do missions, where they could go, who they could minister to, if they were eligible to even do so and so forth. He read the scriptures and could not find where man has the authority to direct another mans path concerning being a teacher, pastor, or missionary. Thus he pulled out of that group and heeded the voice of the Holy Spirit and went where He led him to go. He speaks about letting scripture confirm scripture, instead of taking mans word.
To some, these things may seem like common sense, but to one who is relearning how to walk with Christ fully dependent upon Him and Him alone, these teachings are a bit profound for me.
I know I have my trust issues, so I'm wondering if this is why the Lord led me to read about George Mueller. I don't know at this point so I will just continue to read and allow the Holy Spirit to stir within me things that have been dead or lay dormant for some time.
I am eager to see the path that God has laid out before me. The path that He wants me to follow. I know I will stray and fall and stumble, but I'm so confident now that even when I do, He is never far from me and will guide me back.
On another note, I have taken to calling God- Papa. As I read the book I felt that Papa was just such an intimate name. A name that resembled such closeness and familiarity, such as I have longed for all my life. It feels and sounds so natural and flows so easily. I love the sound and it feels so very intimate. I'm loving it. Another thing I'm loving is the presence of the Holy Spirit. I've always loved it, but didn't experience it as much as I have in this last week or so. It is so...I can't even describe it.

I'll keep you posted as the Lord continues to guide me and lead me.

In His Grip

BFF

WARNING: BITS OF TMI (Too Much Information)

I think everyone is aware what BFF means in this day and age, but for those that may not, it stands for Best Friend Forever.

Last night when I got home from work, I headed straight for the restroom (as I do every evening when I get home) and my 3 children immediately followed close behind (as they do every evening when I get home). I don’t think I have had many alone times in the restroom since I became a mom. The bathroom seems to be one of the favorite places my children like to hang out and talk to me in (I have a dear friend that can relate, as this was one of the places she spent time talking to her mother in as well ;->), the kitchen is a close second.

Anyway, we got to talking and I was sharing with them a bit of my prayer time during my drive home and then I asked them if they saw God as loving, nurturing, and caring or as a king on a throne spewing out orders, rules, laws, judgments, and condemning people to hell.
Two of them said the king on the throne and one said something slightly close to loving and nurturing. My heart broke into a thousand pieces as I sat there and could completely relate and understand what they meant.

I’m grasping for straws as I sit there and I’m thinking, how can I explain this to them so that they can grasp it and comprehend what I so desperately want to convey? And I mumble a prayer, Lord help me.

The words spill forth. I first ask them if they can imagine God as a mother and they all say no. Then I said, picture a mom nursing her baby and as she is nursing she rubs his cheek and hair. She talks to him and sings to him. She holds his fingers or hand and cuddles him close to her. She gives him all of her attention and can only focus on him at this moment. She cherishes this and wouldn’t mind if it went on for some time. This is what God wants to do with each of His children. The only way He can do that is if we take the time to get to know Him and become His friend.
Akyra is a lot like me and it’s hard for her to make friends. Ari is the social butterfly and Adrian does ok. So I said Akyra, have you ever cried because you wanted a best friend so badly? It seemed that everyone but you had a best friend. Yes, was her reply. I said, imagine God sitting there crying because He gave His only Son for you and now He just wants to have a relationship with you but you don’t give Him the time of day. Then I had to back up. I said do either of you realize that if just one of you were the only person on earth Jesus would have still died for you? They all said no.
If YOU were the only person on this earth, God would have still given His Son for you and Jesus would have still paid the price just for YOU and YOU alone. This was the concept I too had trouble grasping at first. But when I finally GOT IT, I could understand a portion of His love for me. When you hear God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…that seems like something totally different and foreign. But when you hear God so loved (your name), that He gave His only Son…that makes it more intimate and personal. Anyway, they still are wrapping their brain around that one, but I go on.

God wants to be your best friend. The one you tell everything too, every day. He cries when you cry, He hurts when you hurt; He’s elated when you are happy, etc, etc. You all are searching for something I have searched for all my life and I had it all along and continued to overlook it daily or push it aside for a weak substitute.

Now I have 2 best friends in this world and I have a hand full of my dearest, dearest, friends; all of which are family to me. But I remember telling stories and T-A-L-L
Tales in school just hoping someone would like me and be my friend. Then I would get a friend and got angry if they claimed to be someone else’s friend. (childish I know)
And all the time God was standing by waiting patiently to be that BFF. I pushed Him aside time and time again, and yet He continued to wait. Now, as I am emerging with some understanding and clarity, I see my BFF was there all along.

Then they say God must be mean because He lets bad things happen to good people. I explain how God is not a dictator but a loving God that gave each of us freedom to make our own choices. I said now, when you make a choice that hurts me or one of your siblings, do you think God is bad then? No, they said. God allows us to make choices and sometimes those choices hurt others or Him, but He still lets us make the choice. But even when we make that choice, He is not far from us and waits for us to return to Him.

So the conversation continues like this for a while and there are teary eyes and then there is mama on the toilet just flat out crying. Then I just feel the presence of the Lord in the room with us and I begin to pray. I began to pray earnestly for my children and their father and a few other people, as God began to show me how they too were substituting people or things for that relationship that can only be completed in, with, and through Christ. I believe chains were broken last night and some heart healing is beginning to take place. We are in the place God wants us to be.

On another note, God has laid upon my heart to read the autobiography of George Mueller. He opened orphanages and didn’t ask for anything, but received everything by praying and allowing God to be the Master Orchestrator of seeing the needs met through others. Mind you, when Joseph first left, for the first year this is exactly what I did. I did not work, but prayed earnestly about everything and my bills were paid for a year. Ironically, it was after I started working and stopped praying so fervently that our lights were disconnected for a little over a month. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Trust

Prov. 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart...

I’ve been struggling with this portion of this verse for about a year and a half now, maybe a little longer. I would have to say it was after being separated from my husband for 4 ½ months and he declared he wanted to reconcile. Then after about 2 weeks he declared he did not. That is when my trust in the Lord started deteriorating. Then after the 2nd declaration of working on our marriage and then not, that really ripped my trust apart. My questions were: How could God allow this to happen now a 2nd time? What about my children? Didn’t He care that they were innocent? Didn’t He care that none of us asked for this? Didn’t He care at all?

I began to see God in light of what Joseph did or didn’t do. I completely forgot about Matthew 5:45 (To show that you are the children of your Father Who is in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the wicked and on the good, and makes the rain fall upon the upright and the wrongdoers [alike].)

I also forgot that God is love. He doesn’t cause the bad, but He does allow it; just as He did with Job. He used this situation to grow me and stretch me and I have bucked it at every turn except the first year of my separation. Clearly how could He determine that this would be for my good? But His word is right when it says His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts; Isaiah 55:8.

I’m still not completely sure what the lesson is in all of this, I’m having to start all over learning how to trust Him again. I am seeing Him in a different light…as a father and not a king with a set of rules. Though He is the King of Kings and He does rule everything, He is not standing there with a stick ready and waiting to hit me over the head each time I break a rule. He does grieve when I go against His Word, but He’s not standing there ready to condemn me to hell.

Let me just be honest, in the last couple of years, I have been a rule keeper. Just obey the law and it will be well with me. If you don’t obey the law He is angry, and look out because you never know when He’ll cut your days short. Sadly, I’ve dealt this to my children. And try as they could, it was getting burdensome keeping all these rules.

But now I know something different. He loves me. He really loves me. Just as I love my children and want the best, so does He. Just as it hurts my heart when they disobey or buck my authority, so it is with Him. God has never really had my heart completely. I gave Him what I wanted Him to have but not all of it. We can NEVER fully be in line with the entire Bible. We are flawed. However, when we love God and are in such a close relationship with Him, it will grieve our hearts when we grieve Him. We will also willingly try to obey His commands, not live by them as though if we miss one we are condemned forever.

Am I making sense?

In a relationship it pleases us to please the one we are in relationship with. It grieves us when we hurt the one we are in relationship with. I never looked at it that way. I saw God with this iron fist, ready to pounce.

The Shack is NOT greater than the Bible, but it did help me to understand relationship better and to understand what it is that God tries to get across in many of the scriptures.
He just wants to have a relationship with us and then from that we will clearly be eager to obey His Word and not grudgingly, but lovingly and willingly.

I know this is long, but my heart was so full this morning. We’ll see where God is taking me. So far I am just cherishing what He has shown me thus far.

Oh to have child like faith.
Lord bless me with the faith of a child.
So eager to trust, so able to trust.
Not looking at the things around them,
but trusting that they will be taken care
of and all their needs met. When someone
is holding them, they don’t worry or fear
that they will be dropped, they just have
faith that the one holding them will continue
to do so. That they will receive love unconditional.
Help me Lord to have this kind of faith once again.
AMEN

Ahhhhhh, a teachable moment.

As I sit here Lord, my heart is heavy. I don't know how to fully release Joseph to You. I don't know how to let him go. How do I walk away?

This has to do with that trust thing. I'm still holding on because I don't fully trust you or believe that you can or will work things out for my good. I still feel & believe that I know what is best for me and that I not only must show you, but then I must help you out.

This is part of my journal entry for today. I don't share for the sake of sharing, but someone reading may be in the same boat I'm in. While I'm sitting here wishing someone could help me, maybe I am supposed to be helping someone.

This is one of the things I discovered about myself while reading The Shack. (this is a link to someone's review...please read all the comments that follow after his review) I say I trust God but if I am honest with myself, I don't fully trust Him. My trust was so full 3 years ago or even 2 1/2 years ago. But then I got sidetracked, distracted, knocked off course, and my trust or faith (whichever you want to call it) went so low, I have trouble locating even a glimpse at times. My one question was...How could or would a God who loves His children continue to allow these things to happen. My children are innocent and yet they are in such pain and agony. None of us asked for this journey but we got it anyway. And so as I questioned, my trust ebbed away. A scheme of the enemy? You bet. Now I am struggling to regain ground. I opened the door and let him in and it's hell to get him out!!!! Believe that.

God doesn't want bad things to happen to His children. He's just like any parent. He wants the best for us all. But because He is not a dictator, He allows free will and we often choose things against His will for ourselves because we "think" we know what is best for us. However, He never leaves us even when we make choices that will take us off the path He has for us.

This is what I am struggling with. I've judged God by Joseph's actions. I've judge His love for me by Joseph's wavering love. I've judged His commitment to me by Joseph's lack of commitment.

Oh to have child like faith once again. To be enveloped in His arms and love like a little girl on her father's lap. Show me how to get back to that Lord. Show me how.

The Shack by William P. Young

The Shack, a must read is the first thing I must say. My dear friend was telling me about this book as we were walking through Wal-Mart and then we came up on it. She stated that it had been given to her but she hadn’t read it yet. However, she was going to pay it forward for me, with the understanding that I pay it forward as well.

As I began to read the book, I pondered who I would share this book with. About mid-way through, God laid on my heart 2 people. One of which is my mother and the other, well I will share who that person is in a later blog.

I read and read and then it got to the point where I didn’t want to put the book down at all. I love to read and can read a good book in a day if I want, but with me working now, my reading time is a bit limited. So it took me a week to finish this book. Besides, this is not one of those books you want to rush through at all. You want the pages to go on forever, especially when he gets to the point of the celebration.

I cried, laughed, got excited, felt the characters joy and pain, and even saw my own Great Sadness and began a healing process. There were moments I had to put the book down and pray and cry those big torrential cries, the kind that are so cleansing. I had moments where I wanted to be alone with a certain portion of the book, so I ran to the bathroom for some alone time.

This book has helped to draw me closer to God like no book ever has and I had to keep reminding myself that it was a fictional story.

Anyway, I finished it. Told my children about it and now they want to read it. However, it was such a good book and I want to read it again, that I will begin reading it aloud to them tonight.

Angie, I can’t thank you enough for blessing me with this book. It has begun a healing process for me that no one, not even the counselor, had been able to breakthrough. It was as if FINALLY someone related to my pain. I am looking at my relationship with God with new eyes and a more open heart. Mack asked questions and made statements I’ve held in for so long. But now, it’s as if a new light has been illuminated and I see things so differently.

So, that may not be such a great review, but if you haven’t read the book, I HIGHLY suggest you head to the nearest bookstore or Wal-Mart and pick one up and then after reading it, pay it forward and share this book with others.

I too will be passing the blessing on, with one request that they pay it forward as well and after they finish, they won’t hesitate to pay it forward.