Sadly, this is where I find myself today. Among the praise, the provisions, the blessings...I find myself weary with our housing situation. We still don't have a deadline and I am ever thankful for that. We still have a roof over our heads and that is a blessing all on its own.
I'm one of those people that likes to have all my ducks in order and the limbo setting is nerve racking to me. One of those, if I at least knew we would have a home to move into soon, then I'd have at least one answer. I could move my mind to something else.
I know God hears me, I know the answer is already done in heaven and must come forth on earth. I'm in the phase of wondering "how long"? Everything just seems to be in limbo and I don't do well without stability and routine. I'm wondering if I am out of the Will of God because I have no peace, only chaos and uncertainty.
I'm also dealing with some depression. I feel it creeping in slowly. I've been doing my best to think of the months in numbers and not names, but then someone reminded me that this is November and with that came the realization that we are coming up on the 1st Thanksgiving without my mom and then just weeks later the 1st yr. of her death. I'm dreading it all and I'm wishing these months would just vanish away for this year.
With all of that going on, we have been blessed beyond measure in the last few weeks. People from all over have blessed us with prayers, finances, and kind words. I am so thankful for each of them. This is what the body of Christ is supposed to look like!!! To see the outpouring from so many has been mind boggling. I can't even grasp a full understanding of it all. Thank you just seems so inadequate to express how I feel. My heart is overwhelmed. Yet, I praise God for each of you!!!!
Ok, off to kinda think of some gifts for my sisters for Christmas. I'm thinking lap quilts with some of the scraps I have around here or maybe matching napkins and placemats. Any ideas?
1 comment:
Now that we see the depression creeping in slowing, we have the power of Jesus that dwells within us to tell it to "stop and go no farther."
Don't get depression a foothold in your life. Remember the enemy doesn't play fair. We give him an inch, he takes a mile.
You're strength comes from HIM *hugs*
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