Surrendering IS Humbling
Whoever said surrendering to God was easy, lied. It is a very humbling experience for sure. Just yesterday alone, I surrendered things to God AGAIN about 10 times. Just when I think I'm on a path of surrender, something is said or a thought remembered and BAM it's like I've walked into a brick wall and I have to surrender all over again.
When I find myself worrying or fretting over something, I stop right then and surrender those things again. Asking God to be the Lord over that issue, thought, feeling, emotion, etc. I can't begin to describe the peace that begins to flood me from within.
I lay in bed last night and began to just pray for various people in my life. Giving praise, asking for specifics for each of them and suddenly I had the overwhelming need to surrender stuff and people in my life again. Tears began to stream down my face as it hit me I own NOTHING, not even my own body. I immediately thought of a few scriptures...
1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice -- the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?
1 Corinthians 6:20
20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 7:23
23 God purchased you at a high price. Don't be enslaved by the world.
Then it REALLY hit me. There is nothing on this earth that I own. There is absolutely NOTHING that is mine. Now my next thoughts may seem silly as I write them out, but I lay there and started thinking about things I've purchased and realized that not even those things are mine. I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! It all belongs to God. I belong to God.
AND THEN....surrendering became easy. The words began to flow from my heart as I gave things back to the Lord that were His to begin with. My children are not mine. They were His all along and He only loaned them to me to nurture and prepare for His glory and purpose. I gave Him my husband as well as many other family members and I realized He loves them far more than I EVER could. He does not desire for any of them to be lost. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise to return, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to perish, so he is giving more time for everyone to repent.
He loves them with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
The more I surrendered stuff, people, me to the Lord, the harder the tears fell and the more free and at peace I felt. The more I let go, the more I began to seek His forgiveness for MY mess and I was able to also feel His forgiveness take over me to the point I was able to forgive others. I could think of someone and things they did or said to me in the past and I was not angry with just the thought of them, but my heart was filled with compassion towards them. It is seriously a point when you realize that person did hurt you but ultimately it was against heaven first that they sinned and grieved the Holy Spirit. The more I came to that realization, the more Ephesians 6:12 became more real and clear to me. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those powers of darkness that rule this world and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.
C L E A N S I N G
F R E E I N G H U M B L I N G
R E F R E S H I N G
My goodness that seems to me, to be a lifesaver right there!!! The nugget we should all be aiming for. I'm discovering a new side of God that was there all along. I side I'm loving and so thankful for.
Does this mean I will never worry, fret, or take back what I have already given to Him? No, that would mean I'm not human. However, I have taken a step in the right direction of being able to trust my Savior.
Lord, I pray that something I have shared will be the catapult that launches someone else that much closer to You. I pray that you will continue to heal my heart and help me to surrender daily my "rights" to You. May I never get so cocky to believe that I am my own and can do as I so choose. May I never forget where I've been, nor what You are bringing me through. May what I experience in life today be used to draw others to You and help them to have understanding and come into a more intimate relationship with You.
Thank You for loving me enough to be patient with me and wait for me to "come to my senses". Forgive my cockiness of not realizing that though I did not physically wander away I was still a prodigal in my thoughts. Thank You for seeing me afar off and running to me with out stretched arms welcoming back in to your fold. Your love is truly greater and higher than I could ever imagine. May I ever remain humble, grateful for YOU and who YOU are!!!
In Jesus Name, Amen.