I've been gone a while and well, there is no excuse, but I had to just take some time and regroup. My faith was struggling pretty bad and I had to find me in Christ. Talk about persecution and torment, the last few weeks were some of the hardest to get through and yet I needed to get through them.
My children and I began to watch the Basic Seminar with Bill Gothard and I have to tell you there has been so much awakening for me and so much freedom gained through it. There are many that would say he leads a cult, but I haven't found that to be true and I've not taken his word on anything, but looked through the scriptures for myself to back up what he is saying or dispute it if necessary. I have, thus far, found no reason to dispute anything he has taught. He seriously takes you right back to the Word of God and the Lord Jesus Christ!!!
So I've started over. What does that mean exactly? Well, it means that I've been working on the me God created me to be and some things I HAD to take back to the beginning!!!! Relearning what God has to say about me. Relearning what God has to say about Himself. In all of that, I know there are some things I need to be doing and I've neglected to do them for one reason or another.
Just as things began to get so tumultuous for me and I was on the verge of throwing in the towel (in more ways than one), my sister asked me if I would work out with her for 30 days. I agreed. Had no idea how this would rejuvenate me spiritually!!!! As I've been walking on the treadmill, or riding the stationary bike, or lifting weights, I have had a keen sense that God had some things I needed to go back to and some things He wanted me to change. In come the promptings on my health and nutrition.
So, I started over with drinking my green smoothies again in addition to working out. We ate ALL vegan meals for now 2 weeks and I can't begin to tell you how awesome I feel.
We are on the verge of losing our only transportation because I'm still without a job, but praying the local home health care will get at least 3 referrals for a home health aid....basically I have a job, just waiting for clients now. I haven't stopped applying at other places though. Our Internet will be off sometime today, but even with all of that, I have a new focus. I'm concerned, but not depressed over these financial hurdles. God has provided food we needed to begin this vegan journey. And after the first week of working out and eating all vegan, I began to research yet again about this lifestyle.
I found.......greensmoothiegirl.com. I actually found her through YouTube first and watched every video she posted over the last few years. My son watched with me. I began to get excited and pumped up about all the possibilities. I don't believe in coincidences, so I know God had a purpose and plan in all of it.
I discovered a lump about 4 weeks ago. I've been keeping a close "eye" on it and I haven't noticed it growing, but I do know it is there. Only one of my children know that I have discovered it. I called the free clinic and they have no openings until July. My blood pressure was through the roof and I was having panic attacks nightly. My weight was 220 lbs.
However, after changing my eating habits and then dipping into a vegan food quest, I noticed my clothes were beginning to fit differently. I weighed myself as we began to work out last week and I was astonished to see that the scale read........... WAIT FOR IT................ 198 lbs. So in 4 weeks I've lost 22 lbs. I have a total of 53 lbs to go to get to my goal. I feel great! Oh I think I said that already. The food tastes great that we have been eating and I'm noticing that I don't need quite as much to fill me up.
So back to these green smoothies. I've done them off and on for the past 6 years. The longest I've done them is about 18 months. I got lazy and didn't think they were making such a huge difference. However, the last time I lost a whopping 47 pounds, that's exactly what I was doing, having a green smoothie every morning and working out for an hour 6 days a week. If it worked then, why did I stop? I got lazy...... no excuse and no other explanation.
The only difference now in these green smoothies is I'm following green smoothie girls advice by putting in MORE greens. Previously I had put in spinach and various types of lettuces. Now I've omitted the lettuces and I'm doing kale and collards as well as the spinach. I'm adding frozen fruit, an apple or pear, and 2 bananas. I thought with the additional greens that I wouldn't like it so much, but I guess because we've curbed our sugar intake for so long the taste didn't phase me one bit. Well, actually, that's a lie. It tastes superb!!! I love the richness in flavor and the life of the greens. The fruits, though not a lot, add just enough sweetness. If you decide to give them a try for the first time however, I would suggest doing more fruit than greens and working your way to decrease the fruit and increase the greens each week.
I've also noticed that my palate is changing. We had cake for my nephews 4th birthday and I totally could not eat the icing on it. Way too sweet. I am not craving sugars and sweets as much either, only right before my cycle. I haven't denied those cravings, but I can't wait for them to be gone. Green Smoothie Girl has this cake I so want to try, but I don't like chocolate, so I'm going to have to figure out how to change it to a white cake. It's a beet chocolate cake and everyone on her site raves about it. So in the next few weeks I hope to give it a try and make it a white cake...well, with beets, it will most likely be pink. LOL
I'm also working on starting to journal my vegan journey through videos on my YouTube channel, NeedingASavior. There's nothing on there now, but I will be working on it in the next few weeks and with no Internet, I will only be able to post videos when I take my daughter to class or we head to the library.
I'm excited about the changes. They are very much needed and I only wish I had done them head on 6 years ago.
In other exciting news, I'm going back to school. I'm needing to take a placement exam and need the money for that by the 4th of May. Summer classes begin on the 24th of May. I've already gotten my financial aid for summer, fall, and spring classes taken care of. Summer classes will consist of prerequisite classes, then I will take another exam in the fall to get into the LVN program. After a year I will have completed that program and plan to work and save to begin the midwifery program. That's the goal at this point, we'll see if God changes that or if this is indeed the road He has for me.