2/13/2008
Discouraged
It seems in the past couple of months that several women have come to me to lift them up and pray for them. And while I don't mind doing either of those things, because I feel that not only did God allow things to happen in my marriage to turn me back to Him, but also to minister to other women going through the same issues I've been throug. But what am I to do when I get discouraged and it seems that things just don't seem to be changing. What happens when I won't to throw in the towel and just give up? I know I can't give up, but I have to be honest with you and when things look dull and they seem to be going no where or they seem to be getting worse, I want to do just that, QUIT!!!! My heart is heavy right now. I am burdened. I can't be with my children and that's where my heart really is, I don't see any changes within my husband and yet I know God is up to something. Whata do you do when you really don't know what to do and all you want to do is run, scream, and hide from all that is going on? STAND! And I have to be honest again...that is really hard for me to do right now. Pray for me, so that I may lift you up and be a blessing to you once again.
2/12/2008
Overwhelmed
I'm sitting here at work and just contemplating all I need to do and there just seems to be no time to do all that I am needing to do or is expected of me. I feel so heavy. The load seems so hard to carry. And when I think of who I could delegate some of the responsibilities to, I realize there is no on else. My husband still out of the home and there seems to be no end in sight. The children pulling me every which way, my home is a wreck and the children can only do so much, working full time and the limits that brings along with it. It is all too much for me and I don't know what to do. I'm so busy, I'm finding it hard to have any time with the Lord, how am I to also lead my children in devotions and developing a quiet time with the Lord? It is just too much. Lord, what am I to do? Who is going to help me? How long Lord will this go on? 3 1/2 years have passed and still I am holding on by a thread. Lord help me, I'm drowning and it hurts.
12/31/2007
12/28/2007
What are your resolutions for the new year?
We all want to lose weight, eat healthy, save more money, spend less, spend more time with those we love, be a better person, etc. And there is nothing wrong with any of those things at all. It's said that it only takes 3 days to get into the habit of doing something.
I think at this point, I've seen in my life that this is simply not true for most things.
It must be a decision you make to "finally" make changes in your life for whatever reason and then find someone to help hold you accountable.
I think that accountability thing is my problem. I keep finding people that say they will hold me accountable and then they renig. Or they ask me to hold them accountable and then get upset with me when I do.
Well, on any note, I'm resolving to get closer to God, find out who I am in Christ, find out who God is, and truely become a disciple of Christ. I'm also resolving to teach my children how to study the Word for themselves and how to hear from God. We, my children and I, will hold each other accountable by having evening discussions about what we read earlier in the day. We will be using the Bible Study/Prayer Journal format listed earlier.
What does this have to do with standing for your marriage? Well, when you truely know God for yourself and He becomes your everything, including your husband, you are a brighter light for your husband and others too. You can lead others to Christ by your example sometimes more than with your words. That is my hope and desire. But you will begin to see your husband as God sees him. I once prayed this about my husband and immediately God gave me a vision of a little boy, balled up in a corner, crying. He saw my husband as a litttle boy in need of love and acceptance. I never shared that with my husband, but some days later his words to me were "I just want to be accepted for who I am, love me for me". AMAZING!!!
What life lasting changes will you make for God?
I think at this point, I've seen in my life that this is simply not true for most things.
It must be a decision you make to "finally" make changes in your life for whatever reason and then find someone to help hold you accountable.
I think that accountability thing is my problem. I keep finding people that say they will hold me accountable and then they renig. Or they ask me to hold them accountable and then get upset with me when I do.
Well, on any note, I'm resolving to get closer to God, find out who I am in Christ, find out who God is, and truely become a disciple of Christ. I'm also resolving to teach my children how to study the Word for themselves and how to hear from God. We, my children and I, will hold each other accountable by having evening discussions about what we read earlier in the day. We will be using the Bible Study/Prayer Journal format listed earlier.
What does this have to do with standing for your marriage? Well, when you truely know God for yourself and He becomes your everything, including your husband, you are a brighter light for your husband and others too. You can lead others to Christ by your example sometimes more than with your words. That is my hope and desire. But you will begin to see your husband as God sees him. I once prayed this about my husband and immediately God gave me a vision of a little boy, balled up in a corner, crying. He saw my husband as a litttle boy in need of love and acceptance. I never shared that with my husband, but some days later his words to me were "I just want to be accepted for who I am, love me for me". AMAZING!!!
What life lasting changes will you make for God?
12/27/2007
Trust & Obey
Trust and Obey...For there is no other way. These are very popular words to a great hymn. Words that ring true in the heart of every believer. There is no other way, but to trust and obey our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Times will get hard and the road will get rough, but in all honesty, there is no one on earth you can trust or obey.
Confession: I have in the past few weeks, stopped trusting and obeying. I'm not proud to confess that, but I must be honest with you that are keeping up with my blog and all that is going on with my stand for my marriage.
I didn't say it with my mouth, as I've done in the past. But I did however, just stop obeying God to stand for my marriage, in that I stopped praying for it. I stopped praying for my husband to come home and just said whatever happens...happens.
Well, how many of you know that that is not what God desires of us? If it were to be that way then in the beginning God would have said well, whatever happens, happens. Jesus would have said of us (without going to the cross) whatever happens, happens. But God's words were specific in the beginning and Jesus was very specific in his purpose for coming to earth. How could we His children be any less specific?
I first laid blame that I needed someone to hold me accountable in my prayers and walk. God said to me, My Word is what holds you accountable. OUCH!!!!
He said to me, either you believe that I am God, that I am able, and that I can do ANYTHING. I said yes, you are God, you are able, and You can do All things. He said you speak truth with your mouth and lies with your heart. Your words are like clanging symbols to me. I said but Lord, nothing is happening.
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...because then it was as though He said to me...How can you know what I do in the spirit and in my time? Nothing is happening in your time, true, but my time is not your time, neither is my way your way. Hold on and see what I have to bestow upon you.
AHHHHHHHH the love of my Lord pouring down over me. How could I doubt? Because I am human in a self, instant gratification world. I want what I want and I want it right now.
Well, all that to say I know your struggle, I am there just as you are. I know it gets hard especially when it seems like nothing is happening. Know that the moment you prayed the God of heaven began to work. The reason it begins to get so hard for us is that we take our eyes off of God and put them on our feelings, our situations, and so forth. When we take our cares upon ourselves, it becomes unbearable to bear. Lets cast our cares and concerns back on the One who said we could lay them at His feet and let Him also carry us through.
May God Bless You as you stand for the one you love and never let go of God. He gave you the desire to stand for your marriage because He is standing for your marriage.
Confession: I have in the past few weeks, stopped trusting and obeying. I'm not proud to confess that, but I must be honest with you that are keeping up with my blog and all that is going on with my stand for my marriage.
I didn't say it with my mouth, as I've done in the past. But I did however, just stop obeying God to stand for my marriage, in that I stopped praying for it. I stopped praying for my husband to come home and just said whatever happens...happens.
Well, how many of you know that that is not what God desires of us? If it were to be that way then in the beginning God would have said well, whatever happens, happens. Jesus would have said of us (without going to the cross) whatever happens, happens. But God's words were specific in the beginning and Jesus was very specific in his purpose for coming to earth. How could we His children be any less specific?
I first laid blame that I needed someone to hold me accountable in my prayers and walk. God said to me, My Word is what holds you accountable. OUCH!!!!
He said to me, either you believe that I am God, that I am able, and that I can do ANYTHING. I said yes, you are God, you are able, and You can do All things. He said you speak truth with your mouth and lies with your heart. Your words are like clanging symbols to me. I said but Lord, nothing is happening.
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...because then it was as though He said to me...How can you know what I do in the spirit and in my time? Nothing is happening in your time, true, but my time is not your time, neither is my way your way. Hold on and see what I have to bestow upon you.
AHHHHHHHH the love of my Lord pouring down over me. How could I doubt? Because I am human in a self, instant gratification world. I want what I want and I want it right now.
Well, all that to say I know your struggle, I am there just as you are. I know it gets hard especially when it seems like nothing is happening. Know that the moment you prayed the God of heaven began to work. The reason it begins to get so hard for us is that we take our eyes off of God and put them on our feelings, our situations, and so forth. When we take our cares upon ourselves, it becomes unbearable to bear. Lets cast our cares and concerns back on the One who said we could lay them at His feet and let Him also carry us through.
May God Bless You as you stand for the one you love and never let go of God. He gave you the desire to stand for your marriage because He is standing for your marriage.
12/21/2007
What's Been Happening?
Well, I started back to work on 12-17 in the OB/GYN Department. I was/am very grateful and blessed, but it did send me into a bit of depression. I was getting back into the swing of things being at home and had begun to see behavior and attitudes in my children changing. They need me at home with them so badly.
I've been at work a full week now and thankfully the Christmas holidays are coming up. I will have 5 more days at home with my children. I did get alot of organizing and decluttering done last week while I was home and I'm hoping to do more of the same in the next 5 days. Well, after I finish knitting Christmas gifts that is. I'm going to be busy, busy, busy!!! ;-)
The children are cherishing their break. The girls are knitting away and planning their last minute shopping outings this weekend.
I regret in a sense there will be no store bought gifts under the tree from me to them, but in another sense, I am blessed to be able to give them something from my heart. Thankfully we taught them what Christmas is really about and that Jesus is the reason for the season and we must celebrate Him, not ourselves.
We will attend church on Sunday and prayerfully their dad will join us, we'll pray for it anyway.
I've been at work a full week now and thankfully the Christmas holidays are coming up. I will have 5 more days at home with my children. I did get alot of organizing and decluttering done last week while I was home and I'm hoping to do more of the same in the next 5 days. Well, after I finish knitting Christmas gifts that is. I'm going to be busy, busy, busy!!! ;-)
The children are cherishing their break. The girls are knitting away and planning their last minute shopping outings this weekend.
I regret in a sense there will be no store bought gifts under the tree from me to them, but in another sense, I am blessed to be able to give them something from my heart. Thankfully we taught them what Christmas is really about and that Jesus is the reason for the season and we must celebrate Him, not ourselves.
We will attend church on Sunday and prayerfully their dad will join us, we'll pray for it anyway.
12/11/2007
Cherish every moment
This afternoon my son and I went to pay the electric bill. At first I was going to make him stay home and finish his school work, but at the last minute changed my mind.
As we were riding along, he began to ask me questions about his father, talk about various topics that were on his heart, and at times just be down right silly. I looked over at him, thinking to myself, that in just a few short years these opportunities will be gone.
There were moments that I got to share spiritual things with him and I realized that now is the time for me not only to make memories, but now is the time for me to speak truth into his life/heart. Now is the time that God has given me to speak into his life what God wants him to hear that will carry him on into his adult life. I cherish this time that God has given me to mold his life and speak truth to him. I am so very grateful that God would entrust to me the vessels in each of my 3 children that I could fill them with His truth.
Don't take any moment for granted. God gives us these moments to raise soldiers for His kingdom. Take every opportunity and sow seeds of righteousness into your children.
As we were riding along, he began to ask me questions about his father, talk about various topics that were on his heart, and at times just be down right silly. I looked over at him, thinking to myself, that in just a few short years these opportunities will be gone.
There were moments that I got to share spiritual things with him and I realized that now is the time for me not only to make memories, but now is the time for me to speak truth into his life/heart. Now is the time that God has given me to speak into his life what God wants him to hear that will carry him on into his adult life. I cherish this time that God has given me to mold his life and speak truth to him. I am so very grateful that God would entrust to me the vessels in each of my 3 children that I could fill them with His truth.
Don't take any moment for granted. God gives us these moments to raise soldiers for His kingdom. Take every opportunity and sow seeds of righteousness into your children.
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