12/13/2010

Sacrificing Our Children...

As I was driving today, I began to contemplate the fact that I may have to go back to work full time.  I don't want to, I want to be a mom.  I want to be with my children.  However, with the housing situation and the possibility of being homeless, I know it's a real possibility that I may have to sacrifice my children yet again.

It seems so unfair that the children of single family homes are the ones that are sacrificed.  I know this is not a perfect world and that people are not as God had intended in the beginning...yet, it saddens me that single mothers (some fathers too) really don't have a say.  My children and many children around the world did not ask for this.

I can say that before August 2010 my children and I were close, but the heart of my middle child was searching and seeking others to tie her heart to.  I can say that since I've been home I have seen this child of mine cling to me as though life depends on it.  She's not the one that expresses herself.  She doesn't cry, she shows no emotion.  However, I've seen on several occasions where her eyes have filled with tears.  She's learning to open up, she's learning to express herself and to be honest I don't want to leave that!!!!!!  I don't want her to bottle everything up again.

I guess I'm just rambling, expressing my thoughts.  Pouring out my heart.

Discouraged



4 comments:

Nabila Grace said...

Oh my dear! I understand! I have to work out of the home as well. It's not easy. I feel as though I have missed my son's development and I have betrayed him in a way because I had to be away. But my family is surviving. We are making it. God is providing. God will continue to bless and guide you in all you do. I will be praying for you my dear!

Love Abounds At Home said...

This is one of the hardest decisions you'll probably ever have to make. One thing I know for sure is that we serve a God who is ever present. Even when you're not there with your children, He is! Hugs & prayers to you my precious friend.

Lady Kara said...

I feel you so deeply. It's heartbreaking. It's hard to know how long to wait on God sometimes. God bless you, I wish I could come by so we could help each other out.

Vee said...

These are definitely challenging times. So many of us are in a financial crunch and I know that it is just that much more multiplied for single parent homes. Allow God to lead you... (Any chance of doing something at home for the extra you need?)

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