Notices

I hate disconnection notices.  With all that is in me, I hate them and yet, I find myself facing them once again!!!!  

I Know God will work it out,  but I still hate them.

As a side note, I got all signed up for Scentsy and then it seemed like the room got totally silent.  Many of my friends don't comment on my facebook statuses anymore or even reply to my emails.  Really disheartening, especially since I didn't try to sell them anything.  Just wondering AGAIN if this was the route God had in mind.  Every avenue I have tried to bring in some kind of income to support my family has seemed to go bottoms up and quickly.  Back to praying to seek Him yet again and gain understanding...I hope.  Somethings got to give!!!

In the meantime, blogging has taken a back seat.  I've been going through so many emotions that I didn't want to bring anyone else down...I want my blog to be encouraging and if I can't find encouragement in it or through it, I just don't blog.  I hope to be back soon though because I sure miss putting my thoughts down. 

Sacrificing Our Children...

As I was driving today, I began to contemplate the fact that I may have to go back to work full time.  I don't want to, I want to be a mom.  I want to be with my children.  However, with the housing situation and the possibility of being homeless, I know it's a real possibility that I may have to sacrifice my children yet again.

It seems so unfair that the children of single family homes are the ones that are sacrificed.  I know this is not a perfect world and that people are not as God had intended in the beginning...yet, it saddens me that single mothers (some fathers too) really don't have a say.  My children and many children around the world did not ask for this.

I can say that before August 2010 my children and I were close, but the heart of my middle child was searching and seeking others to tie her heart to.  I can say that since I've been home I have seen this child of mine cling to me as though life depends on it.  She's not the one that expresses herself.  She doesn't cry, she shows no emotion.  However, I've seen on several occasions where her eyes have filled with tears.  She's learning to open up, she's learning to express herself and to be honest I don't want to leave that!!!!!!  I don't want her to bottle everything up again.

I guess I'm just rambling, expressing my thoughts.  Pouring out my heart.

Discouraged