Shattered World

In 2 weeks it will be official. I will be a divorced woman. I know we've been separated for 8 years. I know that we were living single lives all this time. However, I still held out hope. I still believed God would restore our marriage.
Again, through a text message.....NEVER face to face, He said it's over. My heart is broken, my world is shattered and I find myself holding on to God for dear life. Clinging to hope in Christ that He will heal me and make me whole.
I will never go down this path again. My heart has had enough. They either leave or pass away and I'd rather not deal with either one. So I put one foot in front of the other to try to regain my balance, step, and composure.
I never wanted a legacy of divorce. While I know that God has not been the cause of this, I do know that God has allowed it to take place. I cling to Him to not find the answers or understand why, but to just become stronger and wiser through this. One day I will be able to lift my head again and hold it high, knowing that I did all I perceived that God wanted me to do. I will come through the flood and not drown and the fire and not be burned. And there will be beauty for my ashes. One Day....

Tasha

A Journey Out of That Pit...

I'd like to invite you into my heart, my life, my journey.  I've described a darkness that I've been in that is so oppressive and dark that my very life seems as though it would be snuffed out and at my own hands at that.

I feel a moment of a glimmer of light and within days, sometimes hours, I can be right back in that pit.  I've long since named it, but naming something doesn't mean you get the full meaning of what it is you've named.  (I know it seems I'm going in circles, but stay with me.)
Just a few days ago, I shared how God allowed me to come up out of the despair of depression and darkness.  I felt victorious, as we all should when God brings us through something.  However, I didn't know that just a day or two later I would plunge head first back into that pit.  It started with a thought and I brushed it off.  Then I got a text message about something one of my kids put on Facebook.  (The enemy KNOWS just what it is that will send you over the edge.  He KNOWS how to push your buttons).  Then I got another message about something I had been praying for regarding one of my daughters and saw things slipping from my grip.  I began to speak doubt to myself.  I began to believe lies and replace them for God's truths.  I sent my kids away to my sisters...they were enjoying a sleep over they thought, while I was sinking in the miry clay.
But God does NOT desire any of us to be defeated.  He sacrificed someone so great to conquer defeat so that we wouldn't be subjected to it.

I don't know about any of you, but when I'm depressed, I don't want to be around anyone.  I don't want to talk to anyone.  I just want to be left alone.  However, God had other plans for me today.  My kids wanted to go to the mall.  Anyone that knows me, knows I absolutely loath the mall.  I can't explain it, but I HATE THE MALL.  I totally dislike shopping, unless it's for sewing stuff or books.  So I dropped them off at the mall for an all day excursion and I went to the library, a Christian book store, and JoAnn's Fabric.  LOL
I absolutely had no money to spare, but went to "window shop".  I looked and looked and looked all around.  Enjoying the sights in Mardel's (the Christian book store).  I read quotes on cups, plates, pictures, t-shirts, I looked at their Christmas items and wandered through the kids section.  I remember walking and looking at the big wall art and reading the scriptures and saying aloud to Lord, I want this freedom that these quotes speak of.  I began crying silent tears in regards to the freedom that evades me, and begging God to help me do something.  I said "I know Your word says I can have life more abundantly, I don't want to wait to get to heaven to have it, that's not what Your word promises.  I don't want to live in hell on earth before I get to enjoy Your glory in heaven.  I want it to manifest here on earth and be magnified in heaven!!!!!
I then went to browse the books.  They have expensive books, but they also have bargain books sometimes for $1, $3, $5, and so forth.  I saw a few things that caught my eye, but knew I didn't have the funds to buy any of them.  So I just grazed the pages of some of them.  Then it happened, my eye caught sight of a book for $8.  I read the title again.  I had heard her do a Bible study on a television show regarding this same book.  I read the title again and immediately snatched up the LAST book and put it in my basket.  I took the $8 from my grocery money to buy this book.
Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore.
This woman is a phenomenal teacher and so real and down to earth.  I've seen/heard her in person several times and each time I am always riveted in my seat listening to her speak.

I began reading her book and I hardly ever read the acknowledgements or foreword, but tonight I read even that.  Then I began to pray and pour my heart out to God.  Lord, You can use any song, any person, any book to bring me out of this pit.  I just pray You get me out of the pit.  I read chapter 1 and FINALLY I can't put things into some semblance of understanding for MYSELF and not feel like I'm going crazy!!!!  SHE GETS THIS PIT THING!!!!!!!!!!!  It's easy for us to see someone going through something and share what we would do, say, think, etc.  It's a whole different story when someone has walked the road and wore the shoes!

So, on that note, I welcome you on this journey I'm taking.  Don't bash, don't criticize, don't belittle, but PLEASE PRAY!!!  I will share as much as the Lord allows, and I pray someone else gets out of this pit right along side me.  I wish there were several of us reading this together, but maybe this is a journey God has me on by myself...and for good reason.

I'll share what I've learned from chapter 1 in tomorrow's post, but for now, I thank you for allowing me to be blunt and honest!!!  I'm ready to strip off the masks and tell it like it is!

I Will Not Be Moved...

This morning, I awoke with the words of a song in my heart.  I don't recall ever really listening to this song.  I do recall hearing it on the radio.  However, these words were bouncing around in my heart AND thoughts and I looked it up on YouTube.
I also prayed today!!!!!!  I actually formulated my heartfelt thoughts into words and brought them before the Lord.  I can't describe to you how good that felt.  It was refreshing.
I pray you enjoy the words to this song! I am not so into the music as I am the words.  ;-)

Light.....After Great Darkness

I FINALLY saw the Light of Hope!!!

I haven't been able to read the Word in over 2 1/2 weeks. Hadn't been able to even open it. Couldn't fully understand why this great attack on me.

Until last night!!!

Well, let me back up. Yesterday morning I took my Bible outside and sat down and actually read about 3 passages in Psalms. That was all I could muster. I prayed briefly and that was about all I could muster. Tinkered on the piano a bit and cried out to God in great anguish.

Took my son to karate and prayed off and on while waiting in the car for an hour.

Got home and told the kids to get their Bibles. We haven't read in 2 1/2 weeks mind you. So kids are looking at me a bit strange. I don't feel like it, but I forge ahead. I don't "feel" like doing this. I don't "feel" like reading or praying. But I push forward even if it's only 5 min.

We briefly talked about relationship with God and how we (those of us in the family that don't have a relationship with God) have basically been pimping God. Do our duty on Sunday and then wait with our hand out the remainder of the week expecting to be lavished with blessings and get angry when we aren't. (another blog post on that later)

Then I began to share with them about this dark time. Why I have been so quiet, afraid, and in tears constantly. Fear of the visions I see. Fear of what I might do to myself. Quiet because I saw no hope and tears because that was all I could bring myself to do, along with begging God to please save me and protect me or else I would surely die.

As I was sharing with them, God began to bring to my rememberance a conversation I had 3 weeks ago. We were talking about fighting for our families and praying for our children that are lost and pushing God further away. I mentioned that I had challenged the enemy the day before. Told him he'd have to kill me before I allowed one of my children to be snared by him. I reminded God of all the promises He gave me for my family and again told the devil he could not have my family and the only way he would get them would be to kill me.

I was told I should never challenge the enemy that way, he will surely do all he can to defeat me. I said if we don't challenge him then we are saying our God has no power and from all I've read, my God has ALL power and ALL things are UNDER His feet. The enemy is in subjection to Him!!!

I forgot about that prayer. I've been begging God to help me understand why I was going through this dark time and to draw me out of it. I can't explain it any better than I have been deathly afraid my time was drawing nigh and that it would be at my own hands.

Little did I realize I would forget that conversation and less than a week later, the enemy began his attack on me and tried to take me out. LITERALLY

Since remembering that conversation and sharing it with the kids, I have felt a heaviness lift off me. I'm cautious but NOT defeated!!!!! For the first time in weeks I felt a ray of hope and saw a glimmer of light!!! It has been a long, hard, rough couple of weeks, but as I think about it, it seems as if it were a wilderness moment. You know in Matthew 3:17 the voice of God declares after Jesus has been baptized, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." and IMMEDIATELY the next thing we see in Matthew 4:1 is that Jesus is led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. I could feel heaviness all around me, but no one would be there. I could hear movement all around me, but I would be the only one in the room. The sad thing is I would cower in my bed, not fearful of the enemy and his minions that may have been lurking about, but I was afraid of what I would do to myself. I was too weak to "pray" and so I'd just lay here in bed and cry out Lord if You don't save me, I won't be saved. If you don't rescue me, the enemy will win because I am not strong enough to fight this. Sometimes it would just be Lord Help ME!

But last night, something in the Spiritual realm happened. As I shared and remembered, I no longer felt heavy or defeated. The air in the room began to lighten up. I smiled for the first time last night and truly felt it.

Please pray for God's protection upon me and my children. I don't believe he's finished, but angry (the enemy that is). I didn't denounce my Lord though I did stop reading His Word. I didn't stop praying all together, my prayers were more like cries for mercy and questions. Not only is the enemy after my children, he will kill me to move me out of the way!!!!!

But God is greater!

Immediately after sharing with the kids, God put a song upon my heart. I pray this song blesses you as it did me. I sat here listening to it with tears streaming down my face. God has not put a song on my heart in over 2 weeks. Every morning I would wake up with the words of a song in my head and I'd look for it on youtube and that would be my song for the day. I would go have my quiet time and finish up with praise or worship to the particular song God gave me for the day. I had not had that until last night and this is what He gave me!!! Enjoy! 

We War NOT Against Flesh and Blood...

With our latest family situation, we have all been crying out to God and seeking Divine Intervention.  This is a battle that none of us can really fight and for a moment it seemed like our hands were tied.  Our hands tied is sometimes just the way God wants it.  This morning when I awoke, I asked the Lord for a word as I opened His Word.  2 Corinthians 10:3-5 came to mind.  Before I could actually turn there I was quoting it from memory and began to ask God to show me exactly what it meant.  In other words, what was He saying to me.

I read it and before I could finish reading it, I heard....you all are fighting this battle the wrong way.  You all are so distraught and heavy laden, you weren't meant to carry this load and you are not qualified to fight this battle.  Your focus is in the wrong area.  The enemy has distracted all of you.  You can't see the spirit behind all of this because you're so busy looking at the people involved.  You all are angry with their decisions and yet you don't see how the enemy has manipulated circumstances and thoughts.  You already have the victory and yet because your focus is in the wrong place, you all are losing the battle.

I finally said OK Lord, I'm listening.  Make it plain and clear.  He (The Holy Spirit) said, there is NOTHING new under the sun.  Everything the enemy has ever done, he continues to do and because of our growth in Christ or lack thereof, we handle the attacks differently and they go from turning our world upside down to just being an irritation.  He said you all are angry, you're growing bitter and resentful and that is the exact way the enemy wants you to respond.  If you are busy looking at the people in this you are distracted from what the enemy is really doing and thus he keeps you all in bondage.
He then said you humans are controlled by 1 of 2 Spirits; demonic or Holy.  It's a matter of whose bidding are you doing.  So while these young people are doing the enemies bidding, you all are mad at them and not the spirit behind their actions, thoughts, and words and thus now YOU are doing the enemies bidding.  So you keep fighting and you lose.  He said fight this battle with My Word and lay it at my feet and watch Me win this battle.  He said if I have told you in My Word that WE have the victory and WE win, why do you fight like WE lose?  Rebuke the enemy, share My cup/body at the table and take on MY life and victory and tell the enemy to go back to hell from whence he came.  Pray and Believe!

I called my sister and shared with her.  I told her she had to quit talking to the wrong people and pour her heart out to God.  He's waiting to fight the battle but in essence because we are trying to work things out in our own way and time, we have basically tied the hands of the Lord.  I know some will say, but the Lord has all power...and this is very true.  However, we have the ability to stay His hand and power when we walk outside of His covenant and will.

She immediately said OH MY GOODNESS, you are so right.  We knew this, why didn't we do it from the beginning.  I said....we are human!!!! ;-)

As she began to fight in the spirit her countenance began to lift and change.  Her heart began to soar.  She began to have hope once again.  This battle is far from over in the flesh, but God already said HE has the victory and IT IS FINISHED!!!!

I share this with you to say, if you are feeling defeated.  If the enemy has you going through some mess, it's time for you to stop fighting this battle on your own.  His Word tells us that this battle is NOT ours but it is the Lords.  It's time to step back, pray, believe, trust, and Know that you Know that God can and will fight the battle far better than you ever could think or imagine.  And as Shadrach, Meshec, and Abendego once said basically even if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to, Trust Him anyway and don't let go of God and do the bidding of the enemy.

NASB:  2 Corinthians 10:3-5  3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 for theweapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for thedestruction of fortresses. 5 We are destroying speculations and everylofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are takingevery thought captive to the obedience of Christ... 


NLT:  2 Corinthians 10:3-5  3 We are human, but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. 4 We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devil's strongholds. 5 With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God. With these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ...

Miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt!

I'm at a point where I'm still speechless as to what the Lord has done for us.  On Dec. 10 I paid $400 towards the back payment of the mortgage, with a promise to pay $500 on the 21st of Dec.
I had no clue where the money would come from, but began to pray for God's provision.  I knew that if we were to get a donation via Gleaning The Harvest, it would go through paypal and it needed to be in my paypal account by Friday, Dec. 17th in order for me to get it transfered to my bank account by Tuesday the 21st.  Then I could make a payment via phone to the mortgage company.  I specifically prayed this prayer with dates a couple of times.  For the most part I was in tears, whining and pouting, and begging the Lord to fix this.  I was down right terrified, totally scared, because the thought of being homeless can do that to you!!!
No donations all week.  None!!!  At some point last Wednesday, I cried out to the Lord totally broken.  I told the Lord I didn't want to be homeless with my children.  I confessed my doubt, confessed my fear, confessed my worry.  Totally admitted to the Lord that I was unable to walk through this fire alone and I didn't think I'd make it at the rate I was going.
I prayed that prayer and felt a huge weight lift.  I knew my circumstances had not changed, but I just felt like the Lord was telling me not to worry about the $500 and I had a great peace.
Friday morning, came and went.  Friday afternoon, came and went.  Friday evening, came and went.  Late Friday night, my alert message for new emails went off.  It was my email account I set up specifically for job searches and paypal.  I had no alerts all week so didn't think much of it...figured it was probably junk mail.  But what did my eyes see!!!!!
SOMEONE had donated to our family a whole whopping $500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES, you saw that right!  The EXACT amount needed for the mortgage company, exactly on the day I needed it in my paypal account so I could transfer it to my account and pay the mortgage tomorrow!!!!
The Texas Two Step, The Happy Dance, My Praise Dance, all seemed so inadequate.  All I could do was fall in a heap and bawl my eyes out while praising the name of JESUS!

I am NOT a perfect Christian and I know none of us are.  I've worried, doubted, and feared, when God said to be strong and of courage, to not doubt or worry, and to fear not.  However, God knew this would come to this point.  He knew I would worry, doubt, and fear.  Yet, He has remained faithful and never left me.  He is having to walk with me as my faith and trust are rebuilt, and He is ever so patient to walk through this with me.  He lovingly waits for me to wade through all of this mess.  He did absolutely nothing for my faith to get to this point and yet He is patiently waiting and loving me.

My God is good!  He's more than amazing!  He's awesome beyond words!  He really is strong when I am weak!  He's Everything I need!  He's GOD!!!!!!!

I had been praying for a Dec. 21st and 31st miracle!  Miracles do still happen, even when I doubt.

I'm still praying for the Dec. 31st miracle and the ability to pay the rest of our bills for this month!  I know God is able, even when I struggle with trusting what I can't see!!!!

To the family that so graciously gave, THANK YOU is so inadequate to express my heart.  For those contemplating giving to one of the families on Gleaning the Harvest, know that you are helping a single mother to be with her children even if just for one more day.  This journey is truly a moment by moment journey.  Sometimes we are able to put one foot in front of the other and sometimes we need someone to hold our arms up in this battle.  We covet your prayers!!!!!
For those that have prayed me through this time, listened to me rant and rave and whine, Where would I be without Sisters in Christ willing to stand in the gap for me and my children!

Thanksgiving

While the holiday itself has come and gone, the art of being thankful is here year round.  We had a wonderful time with friends yesterday.  I'm so thankful to have them in our lives.  God knew exactly what he was doing when he purposed our meeting.  These friends aren't just mere friends, they are our family now!!!!  I love it!

Well, I didn't have time to update on the house situation.  The mortgage company extended our time to get the money together due to the holidays.  Tuesday no later than 5 pm is THE LAST day we have to get the money.  I in my own eyes don't see this happening.  I know that God is able and His view point is much greater than my own.  So it could be 4:59 pm and God bless us with the funds needed.  Yet, it could be God's will to close the door on this house all together.  Then I trust He has another door waiting to be pushed opened with our next place of residency.

I'm trusting and yet still a bit nervous as well.  God is able and I will rest in that.  He will care for me and my children and I most definitely will rest in that!

Closing Etsy???

Well, not necessarily closing it but changing what I sell, at least that's what I'm thinking.

I completely enjoyed making each burp cloth, nursing cover up, and bib.  Yet, I don't think there is much of a demand for them.  I will continue to make them, but as baby shower gifts.
I won't reveal what I am making...well, one person knows already, but she'll not tell until I reveal it. ;->
I'm praying that these items will sell well.  We shall see.

UPDATE on my Update

The mortgage company has called me this morning. They of course don't want to forclose on the home, as this is an extra expense for them. 

They will accept $1086 between the end of today and Friday in order for us to stay in the home. They will defer one payment (Nov. payment) and start me off owing Dec. payment of $369 on Dec. 5th. 

I need a serious miracle. I can't imagine being out in the cold with my children living in our van. That or a shelter will be our only options if we don't have a move of God in our situation. 

I can worry about the conditions of our home later if I can deal with at least knowing we will have a roof over our heads.

Please be in prayer!!!!!!

Update on Housing Situation

Well, we have approximately 3 weeks to come up with $1600 and then begin making our regular payments of $369 beginning Dec. 5 or prepare our departure.  I'm a bit down, as I am not sure what we will do.  Nothing has happened at this point, no open doors or windows.  I still know that God is able, even in the final hour.  So I'm trying to remain focused on Christ....it's hard but I'll keep pressing forward and trusting.  My children remain so brave and their faith is unwavering...believing God will provide us a home.

Please continue to lift us up before the Lord.

Thank you!!!!

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

I'm just warning you now that what I am about to say is various thoughts going on in my head right now.  They may or may not make any sense, but they are important to me! ;-)

Last night during our family devotions...We are using Nancy Leigh Demoss' online Habakkuk study...she brought up many valid and insightful thoughts.  I've been thinking on them through out the night and well into today and even this morning during my quiet time.

She spoke about our timing not being God's timing and that He has an appointed time for everything.  He sees the bigger picture and knows just when the timing is right for various things He has planned in our lives.  She also said that whatever you are going through, whatever the circumstances, it will not last forever!!!!!!  Hallelujah

HE WILL FINISH MY STORY!!!

I began to ponder my post from Monday.  It was a rough day, so many doubts, fears, sadness, depression, and anger began to creep in.  I knew full well that it was an attack from the enemy, but I'm blessed to say that though the attacks come, they don't last as long as they used to.  A dear friend of the family shared the words to a song with me and I immediately found the song on my ipod and played it over and over.  The first time it was playing, I think I got maybe 2 minutes into the song and my spirits began to lift as I began to praise the Lord!  Immediate transformation began to take place as I praised my DADDY!  
As I began to ponder what Nancy Leigh Demoss was saying and my blog post, I could see things from a different perspective...I was seeing things through God's point of view.  I spoke of getting weary, however, God wants me to endure and be patient.  His plans and purposes for my life will come in His time.  I need to remain hopeful and faithful while waiting on the Lord.  it will surely come, it will not delay.  It seems like there is a delay to me because I'm in the mix of it.  I am also human and I want what I want, when I want it and I want it now.  Isn't that how most of us are?  We pray about something and after a few days or weeks we get weary in praying because we figure something should have happened by now!  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH as I step on my own toes.  Then when nothing happens we take matters into our own hands.  We figure we can help God out!
Can I get an amen!  I know it to be true in my own life, so I'll just speak for me!

This spoke to me on so many levels, my kids, my housing situation, my marital circumstances.

You know I'm as honest as I can be on my blog, so I'm just gonna confess it now...I already confessed it to God anyways, I'm not trying to hide from anyone.  I STOPPED praying for my husband LONG, LONG ago.  Yep, sure did.  Saw nothing new happening, don't know where he is now, no idea if the Lord is working on his heart, so I stopped.  Why pray for something or someone that is not changing?  Yet God has something else in mind.  I must continue to pray whether I see something happening or not.  1000 years is but 1 day to God.  I long for relationship, companionship, love, you know all that stuff that comes with marriage.  I want it.  I don't believe I was one of those God intended to remain single, but in this season that is just where I am.  I don't know what God's plans are.  I don't know if He will ever allow my husband to come back.  I don't know if I will get word from his family that he has passed away one day and thus God opens the door for a new relationship.  I don't know what He's going to do or how He's going to do it, but I do know He's up to something.  I do know that my happiness should never come at the expense of obedience to the Word.  It's hard at times, because the easy road would be to divorce, court, and remarry.  However, God has not opened that door for me.  He has not released me from this marriage.  I don't know if He ever will either and honestly, that's a hard road to travel.  In the end, I know He is using this time to speak to my heart and retrain my thought process and transform my life.

Will I feel this way a week from now?  Probably not, but I know God will continue to lead me back to this until it becomes so ingrained in me that it literally becomes natural to me.  He wants me to do just as Psalm 37:3-7 says; Trust in Jehovah, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.  Delight thyself also in Jehovah; and He will give thee the desires of thy heart.  Commit thy way unto Jehovah; Trust also in Him, and He will bring it to pass.  And He will make thy righteousness to go forth as the light, and thy justice as the noon-day.  Rest in Jehovah, and wait patiently for Him...

I know one day my heart will reflect that of the Father, until then I am striving for it.
Jesus You Are...

Could I be praying for the right miracle in the wrong way?

Ok, so it seems I'm doing all the talking during the day....I am not known for being quiet and listening to the Lord during my daily devotions and prayer time often.  I am usually awakened nightly between 1 and 2:30 every morning.  The Lord has usually laid things on my heart during this time and I'm ALWAYS amazed!

So last night I went to bed thinking I would get to sleep in till about 7ish at least.
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
I was awakened around 1:20 this morning and was up until around 5:30ish.  The thought was could I be praying for the right miracle in the wrong way?  I'm praying for a debt free home, red, with white trim. (don't ask...I just want a red home with white trim). LOL

Could it be that God will raise up the $23,000 to pay off this house so that it is completely ours and debt free?  Could it be that God will raise up brothers and sisters in Christ to help me repair all the things in this home so that we can live in every room of this house?  Could it be that I will paint this home red with white trim?

Now, I'm about to list the needs in this home and I pray I don't offend anyone.  I pray that it is not looked upon in the wrong sense.  I'm just being obedient.

As many of you know, my mom passed away last Dec. (It's hard to believe it's almost a year already).  We have lived on her land for the last 10 years.  She left all the land to her grandchildren.  So my desire is really to stay here on her land, even though it is hard to not see her piddling with her flowers daily.
The single wide mobile home was a blessing from a dear friend when we were losing our double wide mobile home, shortly after my husband left.  I covered the $369 payments until recently.  It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath.
So here goes, $23,000 is owed on this home.  If paid off, it would be a bit less because all the interest would not be included.  The home is well over 10 years old and all the pipes under the home are busted.  We aren't able to use the bathrooms, but a port-a-potty.  I won't explain how we bathe, but WE DO BATHE! ;-)  Several places in the flooring in the master bedroom and bathroom have rotted out from leaking as well as the kitchen.  We wash laundry at night because the water pours from beneath the house and I know I could be fined BIG TIME if this was known.
My girls share a room and my son and I sleep in the living room on two twin beds.  The living room is also our computer room, class room, and sewing room.  A bit crowded, but we make it work.

So, I didn't share that for sympathy, but what if.....  The world has Extreme Home Makeovers.  What if the body of Christ did for God's children what the world is doing?
What if this house was paid off, the repairs done, and painted red with white trim!!!  I would have the same miracle I'm praying for.  I KNOW God is more than able!

So again, Could I be praying for the right miracle in the wrong way?