Asparagus

As I was getting out of the car, this caught my eye.  Amazing!!  God is so awesome.  I remember just last fall cutting the fern like plants back and covering with lots of leaves so they could rest for the winter.  Over time the leaves began to break down and compost so I added more periodically.  I had begun to wonder when the first spear would appear.  Had I cut back the ferns too soon and too low?  Just lots of questions.  And then to my surprise this beautiful spear was saying hello!  Last year the spears that came up were much thinner and frail looking.  They were sweet and scrumptious (the couple I picked and ate).  I will be tasting this one very soon...I'll keep you posted on how it tastes. 


Tasha

Our 4th of July 2011

My Dear friend Debbie and 2 of her 4 children.
On the wall are pics. of all 4 of her children.
Amazing Host and Wonderful friend!!!

Two weeks before the holiday, I received an email from a dear friend whose daughter went to Journey to the Heart with my oldest daughter.  They had become fast friends and the family had been working on getting us to Arkansas for 2 years.  Earlier that morning, I prayed aloud "Lord, I just need a break, I think we all need to just get away for a breather."  I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with needed car repairs, job searches, and house hunting.  I needed a getaway.  That evening I got the email asking if we would like an all expense paid trip to Arkansas and as I told my children, everyone unanimously said YES we want to go!!!
There were things that needed to fall into place.  So we began to pray for God to orchestrate things if it was His will.  And orchestrate He did.  He put everything in place to a "T" and left nothing undone.  Of course that is His character, but you know it's still awesome to see things work out before your very eyes.
We rented the car that Thursday afternoon, that night I prayed and asked God why now, and Friday morning we were on our way.  We used google maps and that had us going all over the place, but since I had never been there, I didn't know there was an easier way.  We ended up on a slope so steep that I began to have a major panic attack.  I had to pull the car over because at this point I was afraid I would lose control of the vehicle.  I began to pray for God's help and He calmed me enough to get us down that slope.   (I NEVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE ANOTHER ONE)
From the moment we arrived, I knew God had a purpose for us being there.  My hope was gone, I felt helpless, I felt like a failure, I felt like life was spinning out of control.
Within the first 2 hours of us being there, I was a jumble of tears and the healing began, and God said "This is why now".  God began to use my friends testimony of widowhood and single parenthood to minister to me and bring healing and restoration in a lot of areas in my heart, and God said "This is why now".
We then had dinner and a fun evening with some other friends of ours.  It was really nice and relaxing.  Throughout the weekend, I was touched by so many who truly cared about what we were going through, and God said "This is why now".
I had not given one thought of worry to our situation back at home.  I was determined to just leave it all behind.  Even when talking to others about it, I didn't get worried or fearful.  I had a GREAT peace (Holy Spirit) and I knew He was in control, and God said "This is why now".
We attended church that Sunday and the message was about setting our priorities right, and God said "This is why now".  .  That was something I needed to hear, yet again, and I determined right then and there that things needed to change in my heart, life, family, and home.  Immediately after service we had lunch at the church and fellowship.  Again I was asked to share about our situation and there was much prayer, and God said "This is why now".  .  After church, we are used to doing whatever pleases us, so when we returned to my friends house, she let me know that they do things a bit differently.  We laid down to rest for a bit and then we had supper, and then a time of sharing.  We discussed the sermon and talked and then had a time of prayer (in a circle on the floor...supposed to be on our knees, but mine couldn't handle it so we sat).  God began to minister to my heart through the prayers of my friend and her children, and God said "This is why now".  It's been a long time since I've been able to pray for my husband sincerely.  We prayed for restoration in his heart and walk with God.  We prayed for provisions for our situation.  We prayed for direction and wisdom.  And of course we gave praise and thanks for God and who He is and what He has done.  Afterwards we sat and visited for a while and then went to bed....Monday was the big 4th Party and everyone was totally excited, and God said "This is why now".  .
Monday was awesome...  That morning I received an email regarding the house.  The friends decided financially they could not take back over the house and maintain their other home as well.  I could continue to live in the home if I could again take over the payments.  I then received a phone call and shared the news with someone and asked what they thought.  I was not expecting what I heard from the other end, the caller was my husband and he said, don't worry about the payments, I will make them from now one, and God said "This is why now".  SPEECHLESS, I prayed Lord I don't know what you're doing, but I give you all praise and honor.
I've not been to a celebration so big and so fun in a long time.  My friend thought of everything.  There were games for all ages, things to do for everyone, a game of speed volleyball took place, swimming, food, fireworks, and LOTS of fellowship.  As the night went on, families began to leave one by one and as one family was preparing to leave, the husband and wife came to say good bye and speak to me.  He said, we want you to know we love you and your family so very much.  We have prayed and feel the Lord has lead us to pay for the transmission repair on your van.  IMMEDIATELY tears began to flow.  I was speechless.  $2500 in repairs, I had been so worried about it and asking God how I was going to get this done.  I have no income and no resources, and God said "This is why now".  We prayed and cried and gave thanks and rejoiced!
As I went to bed that night 2 of the 3 worries and fears I had were removed.  My only other concern was/is a job.  However, I don't have to stress about that either because I know God will provide just what I need in His perfect time.
On our ride home, at times I was in deep thought....or so it seemed.  I was actually re-living every moment of the weekend and giving praise to a God that is so great He did not forsake me.  He cared for me even when I was doubting and growing weary.  He had answers to my problems long before the problem came up.  I don't deserve any of what God has done for me, but because He loves me...
My sister said I was a Bible story...the kind of testimony I have she said she's only ever read about.  She said she has been blessed by hearing how the Lord has/is working in my life.  I hadn't thought about it this way, but as I look back over the last 5 1/2-6 years, God really has been amazing and He truly has been our provider.  I am ever thankful that He is with me, that He is for me, that He loves me.  He is an awesome and amazing God and boy oh boy do I love me some HIM!!!!!!!!

It's official

I really prayed and hoped it wouldn't be so, but it is.  The van has got to go in the shop.  Now we have another dilemma....I can make payments on it, but it will have to remain at the transmission shop until fully paid for.  We're talking $2000.00!!!!!  YIKES
The other dilemma is transportation until I get mine back.  I have none.  I also have no idea what we'll do until I can pay for it.
Ummmmmmmmmm trying to stand on the truth of God's faithfulness and provision.  I don't know how, but He will provide.

Trusting

I have had to really stand on the revelation of God's faithfulness.  Took the van to the transmission shop today and at this point, they can't find anything wrong with it.  The repairman said from what I described that it sounds like it's the transmission, but he doesn't want to charge me that high fee and nothing be wrong with it.  So, we wait and see if anything more happens.  I'm praying that a miracle has taken place and there is NOTHING seriously wrong with our only transportation.

Now begins the search of finding a job and a house.  I'm a bit discouraged already because there are so many people out of work and looking for a job.  It seems like it will be impossible to find one just for me, but I'm trusting the Lord to provide a job and housing by August.

Can I Just Tell You About HIS Goodness and HIS Mercy?????

On April 4th, our water and lights were to be disconnected.  Each day we awoke with the blessing of them both still being on.  We were grateful for each days provision and we've learned never to take ANYTHING for granted.  We awoke on the 12th and had water until noon.  Thankfully we had filled all of our 5 gallon jugs with water the day before....remember each day we prepared because we had no idea when we would not have either.  I began to understand something through my prayer times, that this was going to happen for a purpose.  On the 13th, well after noon, the guy came to disconnect the lights.  He was VERY friendly and compassionate.  He wanted to make sure we had done everything we needed to do before he cut the power.  He continued to ask if we would be ok.  After assuring him we would be just fine, he cut the power.
This was our "camping" trip at home and our encounter with God.
Each morning and afternoon, we ate fruit and veggies.  Dinner we cooked on the grill each night.  Let me tell you, we had to get creative because we only had one cooler filled with ice as our fridge.  No freezer in sight, we ate lots of grilled veggies, veggie sandwiches, and occasionally we had meat.  Grilled veggie pizzas; humus, alfalfa sprout sandwiches; grilled egg plants with mozzarella cheese; sauted green beans; grilled loaded baked potatoes; roasted corn on the cob;  and for Easter, we enjoyed grilled leg of lamb, roasted corn on the cob, and roasted rosemary potatoes.
We filled our lanterns with oil and read by lantern, we laughed and we laughed some more.  We were busy by day and went to bed early each night.  We really had a great time for those 12 days.  God did an amazing surgery on my heart and faith.

Over the last few years, I've learned to take NOTHING for granted.  This would have literally killed someone else, but the enemy had no clue what God would do.  What satan meant to use to break me, God used to strengthen my walk and faith in Him!!!

The water was only off for 2 days, so we didn't have to worry about hauling water to and fro.  I'm a firm believer we can make it without electricity, but water is another thing.  Not many knew of our situation and once again, it was just as God wanted it.  Much prayer and trusting that God would provide and take care of me and my children....and HE DID!!!!

Thursday I got a text from a dear, sweet friend.  She said her husband had gotten a larger than expected commission check and they wanted to tithe to us.  This tithe allowed me to pay our water bill thru June, car insurance, car note, purchase items we needed in the home, AND get our lights back on and paid up to June!!!!!!  Not only did we get out lights back on, but our hot water tank was not heating our water even though we put in new heating elements TWICE.  However, when the power came back on, WE HAVE HOT WATER!!!!  Can I tell you how we rejoiced because we no longer have to boil water!!!  I jumped and shouted and jumped some more.  We clapped, we danced, we totally rejoiced!  God truly is an awesomely, amazing God!
We are believing that He will also provide for our mortgage.  We have learned He is MORE than ABLE.
There is no God like my God!!!!!!!!!
Now, to continue in my growth with Him and to get busy with some sewing!

He's ALWAYS able!!!!

Well, Monday, April 4th has come and gone.  The lights and water were to be cut off on that day.  However, here it is Friday, April 8th and we still have lights and water!!!!!!  Praise Be To God!  I don't know HOW He's done it, but I'm ever grateful and in awe.

Keep praying for us!!! He's not done yet, this I do know.

I've been staying busy sewing and trying to come up with new things to put in my shop.
I've also been spending more time with my Savior and in worship.



Now I'm off to bake some homemade biscuits!!!!

God IS able and re-learning how to trust Him has been/is a journey, but one I will be able to pass on to my children's children!!!

I think I'm still partially in 2010...

Well, it appears that this is not turning out to be a year of no worries.  Maybe at the end of the year I'll look back and see that I didn't worry as much as I did in 2010.  I hope!!!

It appears that no matter how hard I've prayed, there aren't answers.  Or just maybe I'm not hearing the answers because they are different than what I'm expecting.  I've got a mortgage payment that was due earlier and they've given me till tomorrow and as of Friday, we are now without auto insurance.  I'm at a loss.  I really don't know what else to do.  I'm going to have to go back to work full time.  The thought breaks me out into a cold sweat.  (I hope that's not taken in the wrong context)  

On another note, please keep a dear friend (Lady Kara) in your prayers.  She's trying to start a home child care business and is eagerly waiting for clients.  This will enable her to be home with her little ones as well.

Single moms have it rough.  It can be very, very depressing!

Life...it's HARD!

This thing called life is hard.  I can't do anything on my own.  I need God every step of the way.  Yet, even my walk with God is not as easy as pie either.  I struggle so much with trust, faith, and fear.  This was my struggle and my cry to the Lord this morning around 4:30AM.  I sat on the side of my bed and told God just that, that this is hard and I am unable to do this faith walk on my own.

I awoke early Wednesday morning to a knock on the door.  A FedEx driver stood there with an envelope in her hand.  I sensed it wasn't good news.  I opened it and there was a letter from the auto finance company.  I know that auto companies will reposes your car if you are 3 months or more behind, but this is one of the notorious banks that is known for not doing anything within the "norm".  So with one payment behind and $170 in late fees, they were notifying me that I needed to make full payment by Friday, December 31st or our van would be repossesed.  I immediately called to work out a payment arrangement.  The first person I spoke with was rude and down right condescending.  It's really sad how heartless some people are....I could never be a bill collector.  After relentless questions and sarcasm, she transfered me to yet another woman.
This woman was compassionate and began to work our arrangements with me to make payments.  She gave me until December 31st to send in a payment of $170 and defer the one late payment.  I got off the phone bewildered, where would I get $170+the $76 for the house and I still have 3 bills unpaid, but one that needs to be paid by the 31st as well.  In a matter of days I went from needing $76 by Friday to needing $320 by Friday!!!!!!!!

Jesus, help me.  I can't live like this.  I can't keep wondering how our bills will be paid.  I would just like to know that each month we won't have to worry about our bills, that we would at least have that security.  I'd like to take a deep breath and not have my chest hurt, not have a panic attack, or my head hurt because my blood pressure has sky rocketed.  Lord, I'm not strong enough, my faith isn't great enough, and I'm consumed with fear.  I can't do this anymore Lord, I simply can't do this anymore.  I believe and will never denounce you, but my faith is so dry.

I took a half of an anxiety pill and laid down.  I slept soundly for about 4 1/2 hours.  I awoke to a donation via Gleaning the harvest of $140.  That added with the money my daughter gave me from her job totaled $190.  I at least had the money for the car or the van, but not both.  I looked at the money and said a silent Thank You Jesus and walked away.  Later this evening, my daughter brought me $60 that she had put away for spending.  We're up to $250....lacking $70 and the need for gas money for a week as well.  Again, a Thank You Jesus, I see You at work and I do believe, help my unbelief!
My other daughter looked in my nightstand drawer because that's where I keep the money my daughter gives me for gas and way at the back of the drawer was........another $125!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Have you added that up yet????  A total of $375 in a little over 24 hours!  $320 for bills by Friday and $55 for gas!!!

WHO IS LIKE THE LORD?????? NOBODY!!!!!

THIS is hard!!!  I like to know my bills are in order and paid for the moment they come in.  The last 5 months have been one of great tests.  Tests I've failed and some I've passed.  Will I ever get it?  Will I ever get to the place of total dependence and trust in God?  Will I ever have faith greater than a mustard seed?  Will I ever NOT doubt His love and provision for me and my children?  WILL I EVER??????

Maybe not 100% on this side of heaven, but I think I have enough to hold on to the hem of His garment for dear life and confess to Him...Lord I can't do this and I'm scared.  And because He's a great God, He says I know and wraps me in His arms and moves mountains I can't possibly move on my own.

I may never be a Moses, Joshua, Peter, or Paul, but God is at work in my heart and life.  I don't know what the completed purpose is for, but I know He's using it for His good.  I'll worry and fear again, and again God will hear my cry and move in my life.

miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt! PART 3

OK, Miracles keep happening left and right!!!!!  God is soooooooo awesome!

I went to Walmart and made the $900 payment on the mortgage via money gram.  About 45 min. later the mortgage company called.  Remember now I still owed $145 by the 31st to be caught up.
He said Ms. Williams, I just want to let you know we appreciate your effort.  If you can just get $76 to us by the 31st, I'll put it in writing that you are in the clear and January will start you off fresh!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO Can we say PRAISE GOD!!!!??????

Miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt! PART 2

I'm sitting at my machine finishing up Christmas gifts for one of my sisters.  I get an alert....I'm $145 away from my December 31st Miracle!!!!!!!!!!

Praying for the $145 and $569 for the remaining bills for the month of December!!!!!!!

Praise...Praise...Praise... My heart is full of praise!!!!!!

Miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt!

I'm at a point where I'm still speechless as to what the Lord has done for us.  On Dec. 10 I paid $400 towards the back payment of the mortgage, with a promise to pay $500 on the 21st of Dec.
I had no clue where the money would come from, but began to pray for God's provision.  I knew that if we were to get a donation via Gleaning The Harvest, it would go through paypal and it needed to be in my paypal account by Friday, Dec. 17th in order for me to get it transfered to my bank account by Tuesday the 21st.  Then I could make a payment via phone to the mortgage company.  I specifically prayed this prayer with dates a couple of times.  For the most part I was in tears, whining and pouting, and begging the Lord to fix this.  I was down right terrified, totally scared, because the thought of being homeless can do that to you!!!
No donations all week.  None!!!  At some point last Wednesday, I cried out to the Lord totally broken.  I told the Lord I didn't want to be homeless with my children.  I confessed my doubt, confessed my fear, confessed my worry.  Totally admitted to the Lord that I was unable to walk through this fire alone and I didn't think I'd make it at the rate I was going.
I prayed that prayer and felt a huge weight lift.  I knew my circumstances had not changed, but I just felt like the Lord was telling me not to worry about the $500 and I had a great peace.
Friday morning, came and went.  Friday afternoon, came and went.  Friday evening, came and went.  Late Friday night, my alert message for new emails went off.  It was my email account I set up specifically for job searches and paypal.  I had no alerts all week so didn't think much of it...figured it was probably junk mail.  But what did my eyes see!!!!!
SOMEONE had donated to our family a whole whopping $500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES, you saw that right!  The EXACT amount needed for the mortgage company, exactly on the day I needed it in my paypal account so I could transfer it to my account and pay the mortgage tomorrow!!!!
The Texas Two Step, The Happy Dance, My Praise Dance, all seemed so inadequate.  All I could do was fall in a heap and bawl my eyes out while praising the name of JESUS!

I am NOT a perfect Christian and I know none of us are.  I've worried, doubted, and feared, when God said to be strong and of courage, to not doubt or worry, and to fear not.  However, God knew this would come to this point.  He knew I would worry, doubt, and fear.  Yet, He has remained faithful and never left me.  He is having to walk with me as my faith and trust are rebuilt, and He is ever so patient to walk through this with me.  He lovingly waits for me to wade through all of this mess.  He did absolutely nothing for my faith to get to this point and yet He is patiently waiting and loving me.

My God is good!  He's more than amazing!  He's awesome beyond words!  He really is strong when I am weak!  He's Everything I need!  He's GOD!!!!!!!

I had been praying for a Dec. 21st and 31st miracle!  Miracles do still happen, even when I doubt.

I'm still praying for the Dec. 31st miracle and the ability to pay the rest of our bills for this month!  I know God is able, even when I struggle with trusting what I can't see!!!!

To the family that so graciously gave, THANK YOU is so inadequate to express my heart.  For those contemplating giving to one of the families on Gleaning the Harvest, know that you are helping a single mother to be with her children even if just for one more day.  This journey is truly a moment by moment journey.  Sometimes we are able to put one foot in front of the other and sometimes we need someone to hold our arms up in this battle.  We covet your prayers!!!!!
For those that have prayed me through this time, listened to me rant and rave and whine, Where would I be without Sisters in Christ willing to stand in the gap for me and my children!

Update on Housing

Well, the Lord has been gracious to provide a payment plan.

I've paid $400 of the now $1465.  In 2 weeks I've got to come up with $500 and then 10 days from that the remaining $565.  In looking at things as they are now, I don't know how I'll pay that nor any of the remaining bills, oh and now my van needs breaks.  But I do know that God will provide for all our needs.  It all belongs to Him anyway!!!!!

Please continue to pray and thanks so much for lifting us up before the Lord!!!

Thanksgiving

While the holiday itself has come and gone, the art of being thankful is here year round.  We had a wonderful time with friends yesterday.  I'm so thankful to have them in our lives.  God knew exactly what he was doing when he purposed our meeting.  These friends aren't just mere friends, they are our family now!!!!  I love it!

Well, I didn't have time to update on the house situation.  The mortgage company extended our time to get the money together due to the holidays.  Tuesday no later than 5 pm is THE LAST day we have to get the money.  I in my own eyes don't see this happening.  I know that God is able and His view point is much greater than my own.  So it could be 4:59 pm and God bless us with the funds needed.  Yet, it could be God's will to close the door on this house all together.  Then I trust He has another door waiting to be pushed opened with our next place of residency.

I'm trusting and yet still a bit nervous as well.  God is able and I will rest in that.  He will care for me and my children and I most definitely will rest in that!

Thankful Thursday -Provisions

On Saturday, the men of a dear family we know were returning from a week long hunting trip.  The 5 of them shot 8 deer.  They kept 5 for their family of 13, gave 2 to families that were hunting but were unable to hit a deer, and then, they brought one to us!!!

WooHoo for deer meat!  I love venison meat and my children are just really being introduced to it.  Out of the very large doe that we got, we were able to cut up and get 4 large roasts, which I was then able to cut in half and so we have 8 venison roasts, we also got 3 freezer bags of stew meat, then we had backstraps...never had that before, but I'm told it makes great BBQ meat.  We kept all the bones to make stock and there were some bones with meat left on and I'll use those to put in my greens or beans.

Monday night, I took one of the roasts and put it in the crock pot on low with some seasonings, onions, and bay leaf.  I also added a cup of water...venison is very lean and can dry out rather quickly.  Tuesday afternoon I added some broth, cream of mushroom soup, barley, and a bag of frozen mixed veggies.  We sat down to eat dinner rather early that evening and then I realized that would have been a perfect meal to have some cornbread with.  However, as we were all sitting at the table, it was really too late.  It didn't stop us from enjoying our meal.

It was totally delicious!!!!

So today, I'm thankful for God's provision of deer meat that will last us a while.  Only God knew that on their first hunting trip ever they would hit 8 deer and that they would bless us with one.  Meat is one less thing on my grocery list for now!!!

Praising God for his creatures!  Especially those we can eat! LOL

SOOOOOOOO MANY PRAISES!!!!

I don't even know where to begin.  The MIRACLE we are praying for has not happened yet, but all things God does are miracles.

We have baby guineas!!!  Out of the 30 something guineas we had, we only ended up with 2 males and 1 female.  The female laid eggs earlier this summer, but one by one they all disappeared.  Then we noticed about 30 days ago that she laid more.  I figured we'd just see what happened.  A friend came to pick up Ari for work this morning and she noticed the chicks!!! To our surprise, God's creation.....we have 16 living chicks.  WOO HOO life is so amazing no matter whose it is.  You would have thought we had won the lottery the way I was jumping around outside!!! ;-)  They are the cutest things.

The donations through Gleaning The Harvest in the last 24 hours has overwhelmed us!  We can't believe that so many that we don't even know have blessed us in such awesome and mighty ways.  Plus a dear friend stopped by and blessed us with some much needed resources yesterday while we were at church!  Today we are headed out to buy each a pair of shoes for the winter and a couple of items of clothing to prepare for the winter!  This is totally awesome!  I'm paying bills and buying food. 

It really is the simple things in life that absolutely mean sooooo much!!!!

I also cannot forget the thousands of prayers going up on our behalf!  God's children are amazing.  

Ok, then the family that Ari is now working for asked how much it would take for us to get to Wednesday night Bible study.  She then said not to worry about IF we could go, we would only NOT go if something else happened to keep us from going, and gas would not be one of those things to stop us because her family wants to make sure we have gas to get to church every Wednesday night!!!!  Can you believe that?  WOW!!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

because we have no phone right now, she wants to get us one so we can at least have it here in case it's needed!!!!  

NOW tell me...is there anyone greater than GOD????  

There is NOBODY GREATER THAN HIM!!!

And we are STILL praying for that miracle!  HE'S ABLE!