2012 Wasn't as good to me or for me as I had hoped. It started off well and then things just began to go downhill. I can't tell you how many times I threw in the towel and asked God to just take me. Not that I wanted to die, just that I wanted the pain to stop. Well, there is still a lot of pain, but as I think over all the things I'd like to do and accomplish in this life, I realize that I REALLY want to live. I'm not ready to die, there is soooo much I want to do.
I've spent the last 7 1/2 years holding on to pain and hurt and heart ache. But I'm ready to let that go and move forward. I've had a failed marriage, but I don't want to give up on love. I've hit rock bottom financially and basically in every area of my life. I think God had to allow that so He could get my attention. I'm beginning to dream again and hope again. I'm beginning to live again!!
I've been looking out for everyone else these last few years. It's time to do some living for me. Not to neglect others, but to in fact take care of me. If I spend all my time taking care of others and do nothing for myself, I quickly burn out until there is nothing left of me. While I believe God wants us to be servants to others, I also believe (now) that He wants us to care for ourselves as well.
So for a change I am actually looking forward to the new year. I'm anticipating great things and new beginnings. I'm looking forward to getting on my feet and making the rest of my life all that God intended it to be. I've taken life for granted. I don't want to get to heaven and see all that I could have had and all that I could have done and gave up because of the trials and tribulations that took place in my life.
Yes I have hurt, yes I am hurting, but I want to move past those hurts and heal and I want to help others to heal as well. I want to smile, laugh, dance, dress up, take pictures, and embrace life far beyond all that I can imagine or think! Life is a gift I've taken for granted for far too long. I'm truly ready to live!!!!!!
Tasha
12/23/2012
12/22/2012
2013
It's hard to believe 2013 is just around the corner.
In 2012 I have tried to restart this blog several times only to come right back to this one. Ha, I just tried it a month or so ago, however, I realized this blog has just way too much history to walk away from. So, I'm sticking with this blog and I'll just let it evolve into whatever God wants it to be.
I'm soon going to be going through a divorce, not by choice. I'm learning to embrace it for lack of a better word. I'm also stepping outside my box that I encased myself into over the past 7 1/2 years. I'll be sharing more photos of me, videos, and whatever else God leads me to share.
I'm pretty excited as I embark on this new life God is laying out before me. Will it all be easy? No, but I'm ready to move forward with my life and get out of the past. I want to let go of unforgiveness, regrets, doubts, and grudges.
In 2013 I want to smile and laugh more and try things I never would have tried (there is a limit to that however...LOL). So to begin that journey, I'll be posting a video soon. Anyone that knows me knows I don't like being in front of a still camera, let alone make a video. Yet, I'm going to do just that and publish it!!! I'm excited and we'll see what happens.
Tasha
In 2012 I have tried to restart this blog several times only to come right back to this one. Ha, I just tried it a month or so ago, however, I realized this blog has just way too much history to walk away from. So, I'm sticking with this blog and I'll just let it evolve into whatever God wants it to be.
I'm soon going to be going through a divorce, not by choice. I'm learning to embrace it for lack of a better word. I'm also stepping outside my box that I encased myself into over the past 7 1/2 years. I'll be sharing more photos of me, videos, and whatever else God leads me to share.
I'm pretty excited as I embark on this new life God is laying out before me. Will it all be easy? No, but I'm ready to move forward with my life and get out of the past. I want to let go of unforgiveness, regrets, doubts, and grudges.
In 2013 I want to smile and laugh more and try things I never would have tried (there is a limit to that however...LOL). So to begin that journey, I'll be posting a video soon. Anyone that knows me knows I don't like being in front of a still camera, let alone make a video. Yet, I'm going to do just that and publish it!!! I'm excited and we'll see what happens.
Tasha
11/04/2012
Home to Haven
Courtney at Women Living Well is sharing ways to make your home a haven. I will be lighting my candle tomorrow and praying over my family. I'll also be using a new book Commanding Your Mornings to aid in the prayer department!!! I'm stoked about what the Lord will do in our home.
I know for a fact that I set the tone in our home. You've heard that saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"! Well it's very true. Tonight I am choosing to change my tone and attitude so that my children will be blessed and our home will become a haven.
Hope you'll join in...
Tasha
I know for a fact that I set the tone in our home. You've heard that saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"! Well it's very true. Tonight I am choosing to change my tone and attitude so that my children will be blessed and our home will become a haven.
Hope you'll join in...
Tasha
8/17/2012
30 Day Vegan Challenge
I've been trying to go vegan for a long while now and though this year has been much better than the previous one, there were still some challenges and times where I fell off the wagon. I'm aware that there is still the possibility of falling off, but I am having the time of my life with the 30 Day Vegan Challenge .
I have no vegan friends and so it's a bit hard and lonely embarking on something alone. Sure the kids are eating it right along with me, but they are beyond the point of excited. They eat whatever is put before them or purchased and they go along with it. So basically there is no one to walk the road with me and at times hold my hand.
I wished for and prayed for a program of some sort that would "walk" with a person through this vegan journey. Then after days, weeks, and months of searching, I found Colleen Patrick-Goudreau.
I read all I could find. Watched all the videos I could find. And then finally she announced that she was starting just the kind of program I was looking for.
So I began my 30 day challenge 9 days ago and it's been extremely fun. I like that she keeps things simple. I think that was one of my biggest problems. I was trying to start this vegan journey and make it so complicated. However, when I stop to think about it, when my mother began teaching me to cook, she didn't tell me my first meal would be a 5 course dinner. No, she started me out simple and eased me into the more difficult, time consuming meals as time went on.
So I've been keeping it simple. Breakfast is by far the easiest. A smoothie M-F, and on the weekends I choose whatever vegan breakfast I want. For lunch, I've had salads, hummus and veggies, fruit, again, whatever I choose. I'm keeping snacks simple also; nuts, fruit, veggies, nut butter with fruit, on and on. I've been keeping my cooking focused on supper and yet I'm keeping that simple as well. Aug. 9, 10, & 11 I had a huge awesome salad and it was so good the first night, I duplicated it 2 more nights after that. Sunday, Aug. 12. I enjoyed a sandwich made with home grown tomatoes and basil. Tuesday we enjoyed fried rice. Wednesday - Sushi, Thursday - roasted broccoli/cauliflower with a hot dipping sauce. I also tried polenta fries as a snack....yummmmm. Tonight was vegan pizza by Tofurky. We tried each one and I am not disappointed what so ever!!! We will be having them again. We've also tried Gimme Lean ground sausage and it was delicious as well.
As I think about this vegan lifestyle, I realize, I've been eating vegan all along to a degree. We don't call apples vegan, but they are. We don't call salads vegan, but in reality that's what they are. I'm only omitting the meat (substituting it sometimes), dairy, and animal products. There are alternatives for everything now days and I'm having a ball exploring them all. There is even a vegan sausage I can use to make gumbo with and vegan seafood!!!!
I think the only hiccup I've found in this is that when people ask how I've lost so much weight (a little over 40 pounds) and I tell them, they immediately become defensive. I'm not asking them to make any lifestyle changes and I'm not telling them animal products are wrong. I've simply answered the question and they feel the need to explain to me why their "diet" works best and how they get to eat all the meat they want to. I'm in no way competing with them or the way they choose to eat, nor am I saying they should switch over to being vegan. That's the only pitiful thing I've experienced thus far.
Tasha
I have no vegan friends and so it's a bit hard and lonely embarking on something alone. Sure the kids are eating it right along with me, but they are beyond the point of excited. They eat whatever is put before them or purchased and they go along with it. So basically there is no one to walk the road with me and at times hold my hand.
I wished for and prayed for a program of some sort that would "walk" with a person through this vegan journey. Then after days, weeks, and months of searching, I found Colleen Patrick-Goudreau.
I read all I could find. Watched all the videos I could find. And then finally she announced that she was starting just the kind of program I was looking for.
So I began my 30 day challenge 9 days ago and it's been extremely fun. I like that she keeps things simple. I think that was one of my biggest problems. I was trying to start this vegan journey and make it so complicated. However, when I stop to think about it, when my mother began teaching me to cook, she didn't tell me my first meal would be a 5 course dinner. No, she started me out simple and eased me into the more difficult, time consuming meals as time went on.
So I've been keeping it simple. Breakfast is by far the easiest. A smoothie M-F, and on the weekends I choose whatever vegan breakfast I want. For lunch, I've had salads, hummus and veggies, fruit, again, whatever I choose. I'm keeping snacks simple also; nuts, fruit, veggies, nut butter with fruit, on and on. I've been keeping my cooking focused on supper and yet I'm keeping that simple as well. Aug. 9, 10, & 11 I had a huge awesome salad and it was so good the first night, I duplicated it 2 more nights after that. Sunday, Aug. 12. I enjoyed a sandwich made with home grown tomatoes and basil. Tuesday we enjoyed fried rice. Wednesday - Sushi, Thursday - roasted broccoli/cauliflower with a hot dipping sauce. I also tried polenta fries as a snack....yummmmm. Tonight was vegan pizza by Tofurky. We tried each one and I am not disappointed what so ever!!! We will be having them again. We've also tried Gimme Lean ground sausage and it was delicious as well.
As I think about this vegan lifestyle, I realize, I've been eating vegan all along to a degree. We don't call apples vegan, but they are. We don't call salads vegan, but in reality that's what they are. I'm only omitting the meat (substituting it sometimes), dairy, and animal products. There are alternatives for everything now days and I'm having a ball exploring them all. There is even a vegan sausage I can use to make gumbo with and vegan seafood!!!!
I think the only hiccup I've found in this is that when people ask how I've lost so much weight (a little over 40 pounds) and I tell them, they immediately become defensive. I'm not asking them to make any lifestyle changes and I'm not telling them animal products are wrong. I've simply answered the question and they feel the need to explain to me why their "diet" works best and how they get to eat all the meat they want to. I'm in no way competing with them or the way they choose to eat, nor am I saying they should switch over to being vegan. That's the only pitiful thing I've experienced thus far.
Tasha
7/23/2012
Life Can Just Be Plain HARD!!!
You know, I don't know why after the last 7 1/2 years, it took me soooo long to say those words, but life can be just plain HARD!!! Sometimes through actions/decisions of our own doing, but also through the actions/decisions of others as well!
There are times when I think life sucks! and other times when I think life just may be ok!
I'm grateful to be alive, don't ever get that twisted, but I think I'm ready for a breath of peace in my life. You know, I want out of the pit, the valley, and I would like to be on the mountain top for just a little while.
How anyone could get through this life without God is totally unfathomable to me and yet, I've tried it. I can say that God has kept me from going totally ballistic in the last few months as well as from losing my sanity. It is definitely by His grace that I am still here and His mercy that has sustained me. Without God, I would have given up a long, long, long time ago. I'm just thankful that those times I couldn't/wouldn't/didn't hold on to God, HE held on to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tasha
There are times when I think life sucks! and other times when I think life just may be ok!
I'm grateful to be alive, don't ever get that twisted, but I think I'm ready for a breath of peace in my life. You know, I want out of the pit, the valley, and I would like to be on the mountain top for just a little while.
How anyone could get through this life without God is totally unfathomable to me and yet, I've tried it. I can say that God has kept me from going totally ballistic in the last few months as well as from losing my sanity. It is definitely by His grace that I am still here and His mercy that has sustained me. Without God, I would have given up a long, long, long time ago. I'm just thankful that those times I couldn't/wouldn't/didn't hold on to God, HE held on to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tasha
7/05/2012
Life Changes...
We have finally packed the last item from the house. The animals leave tomorrow and will stay with a friend until we can get things set up where we are and have them join us. I'm going to miss them a bunch. I'm at my sisters washing ALL the laundry that accumulated and I want it all clean and then I'll pack it in totes.
I had my last class for the Summer 1 session on Tuesday and I made an A. I start Summer 2 session on July 10. 11 more months of school and I'll be on my way. I'm excited and ready for a fresh start.
We spent the 4th with friends (the one we'll be staying with). She lives out by the lake. I envision lots of mornings out on the dock with my Bible and journal and spending time with God. Spiritual rejuvenation!!! I'm ready.
We will start going back to church on Sunday as well. Working on Sundays is not for me and I did it for a season, but that season is over. I'm ready to be fed again and to be a part of our church family.
Hopefully after things have settled down a bit more, I'll be able to blog more. I've got much to share about my vegan journey, garden, and life.
Tasha
I had my last class for the Summer 1 session on Tuesday and I made an A. I start Summer 2 session on July 10. 11 more months of school and I'll be on my way. I'm excited and ready for a fresh start.
We spent the 4th with friends (the one we'll be staying with). She lives out by the lake. I envision lots of mornings out on the dock with my Bible and journal and spending time with God. Spiritual rejuvenation!!! I'm ready.
We will start going back to church on Sunday as well. Working on Sundays is not for me and I did it for a season, but that season is over. I'm ready to be fed again and to be a part of our church family.
Hopefully after things have settled down a bit more, I'll be able to blog more. I've got much to share about my vegan journey, garden, and life.
Tasha
7/02/2012
Changes...
So much going on and so many changes. We are moving, but not the way we had planned it nor when we had planned it. We have lost the house and they will pick the trailer up any day now. We will be moving in with a friend for a short time. She's actually giving me a year to get back on my feet, but I'm aiming for 6 months. We shall see what happens.
We are about 99% packed and should be moved out completely by the 5th.k
There are days I want to curl up in a ball and sleep away all the mess, but I wake each morning pushing forward. Grief and nervous break downs are no joke. I'll begin counseling soon again. I shouldn't have stopped, but I'll get back on track.
I'm still in school, actually have a final tomorrow and then the next semester starts up on the 10th. I'll be taking 2 classes and then Fall classes begin sometime in August. I'm going to be BUSY!!!!
Tasha
We are about 99% packed and should be moved out completely by the 5th.k
There are days I want to curl up in a ball and sleep away all the mess, but I wake each morning pushing forward. Grief and nervous break downs are no joke. I'll begin counseling soon again. I shouldn't have stopped, but I'll get back on track.
I'm still in school, actually have a final tomorrow and then the next semester starts up on the 10th. I'll be taking 2 classes and then Fall classes begin sometime in August. I'm going to be BUSY!!!!
Tasha
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
