Praying for December 31 Miracle

We're still praising God for the miracle of last week and continuing to pray for the miracle of this week as well.  I'm ready for things to finally begin to balance out for us.

Thanks for your prayers!  And please add an extra prayer in for my health!  The stress and anxiety of the last 5 months has taken a toll on my blood pressure and heart.  I'm trying not to get weary.

It's Christmas Eve!

T'was the night before Christmas.
When all through the house....

All my children are up at this moment and I'm baking pies, cakes, and breads!!! LOL

We will have a day tomorrow of games, food, laughter, and fun.  We won't exchange gifts until February.  It is for 2 reasons.  1.  We can solely focus on what this holiday is really about.  Jesus is the reason for the season and so we put our mind on Him.  2nd. Financially it's easier on me to not have to try to keep up with what everyone else is doing.  My children only receive between 1-3 gifts anyway so it makes it easy for me to get things that are just right for them.

It's been great not to have to deal with the commercialism of Christmas.  I wish we had taken this step of faith when our children were smaller.
It's really sad that we have taken our eyes off Jesus and put them on material things.  Seriously, how many things do we really need???  And then when we get those things, how quickly do we forget about them or get bored with them and then need to buy something else to feed that fix once again.

At any rate, however you choose to celebrate Christmas, I pray that you too remember that Jesus is the reason for the season.  Enjoy your family, friends, and loved ones, but most of all, enjoy the fact that this is a celebration of the sacrifice God made to allow His Son to be born for our salvation!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt! PART 3

OK, Miracles keep happening left and right!!!!!  God is soooooooo awesome!

I went to Walmart and made the $900 payment on the mortgage via money gram.  About 45 min. later the mortgage company called.  Remember now I still owed $145 by the 31st to be caught up.
He said Ms. Williams, I just want to let you know we appreciate your effort.  If you can just get $76 to us by the 31st, I'll put it in writing that you are in the clear and January will start you off fresh!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO Can we say PRAISE GOD!!!!??????

Miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt! PART 2

I'm sitting at my machine finishing up Christmas gifts for one of my sisters.  I get an alert....I'm $145 away from my December 31st Miracle!!!!!!!!!!

Praying for the $145 and $569 for the remaining bills for the month of December!!!!!!!

Praise...Praise...Praise... My heart is full of praise!!!!!!

Miracles Do Still Happen, Even When You Doubt!

I'm at a point where I'm still speechless as to what the Lord has done for us.  On Dec. 10 I paid $400 towards the back payment of the mortgage, with a promise to pay $500 on the 21st of Dec.
I had no clue where the money would come from, but began to pray for God's provision.  I knew that if we were to get a donation via Gleaning The Harvest, it would go through paypal and it needed to be in my paypal account by Friday, Dec. 17th in order for me to get it transfered to my bank account by Tuesday the 21st.  Then I could make a payment via phone to the mortgage company.  I specifically prayed this prayer with dates a couple of times.  For the most part I was in tears, whining and pouting, and begging the Lord to fix this.  I was down right terrified, totally scared, because the thought of being homeless can do that to you!!!
No donations all week.  None!!!  At some point last Wednesday, I cried out to the Lord totally broken.  I told the Lord I didn't want to be homeless with my children.  I confessed my doubt, confessed my fear, confessed my worry.  Totally admitted to the Lord that I was unable to walk through this fire alone and I didn't think I'd make it at the rate I was going.
I prayed that prayer and felt a huge weight lift.  I knew my circumstances had not changed, but I just felt like the Lord was telling me not to worry about the $500 and I had a great peace.
Friday morning, came and went.  Friday afternoon, came and went.  Friday evening, came and went.  Late Friday night, my alert message for new emails went off.  It was my email account I set up specifically for job searches and paypal.  I had no alerts all week so didn't think much of it...figured it was probably junk mail.  But what did my eyes see!!!!!
SOMEONE had donated to our family a whole whopping $500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES, you saw that right!  The EXACT amount needed for the mortgage company, exactly on the day I needed it in my paypal account so I could transfer it to my account and pay the mortgage tomorrow!!!!
The Texas Two Step, The Happy Dance, My Praise Dance, all seemed so inadequate.  All I could do was fall in a heap and bawl my eyes out while praising the name of JESUS!

I am NOT a perfect Christian and I know none of us are.  I've worried, doubted, and feared, when God said to be strong and of courage, to not doubt or worry, and to fear not.  However, God knew this would come to this point.  He knew I would worry, doubt, and fear.  Yet, He has remained faithful and never left me.  He is having to walk with me as my faith and trust are rebuilt, and He is ever so patient to walk through this with me.  He lovingly waits for me to wade through all of this mess.  He did absolutely nothing for my faith to get to this point and yet He is patiently waiting and loving me.

My God is good!  He's more than amazing!  He's awesome beyond words!  He really is strong when I am weak!  He's Everything I need!  He's GOD!!!!!!!

I had been praying for a Dec. 21st and 31st miracle!  Miracles do still happen, even when I doubt.

I'm still praying for the Dec. 31st miracle and the ability to pay the rest of our bills for this month!  I know God is able, even when I struggle with trusting what I can't see!!!!

To the family that so graciously gave, THANK YOU is so inadequate to express my heart.  For those contemplating giving to one of the families on Gleaning the Harvest, know that you are helping a single mother to be with her children even if just for one more day.  This journey is truly a moment by moment journey.  Sometimes we are able to put one foot in front of the other and sometimes we need someone to hold our arms up in this battle.  We covet your prayers!!!!!
For those that have prayed me through this time, listened to me rant and rave and whine, Where would I be without Sisters in Christ willing to stand in the gap for me and my children!

Sacrificing Our Children...

As I was driving today, I began to contemplate the fact that I may have to go back to work full time.  I don't want to, I want to be a mom.  I want to be with my children.  However, with the housing situation and the possibility of being homeless, I know it's a real possibility that I may have to sacrifice my children yet again.

It seems so unfair that the children of single family homes are the ones that are sacrificed.  I know this is not a perfect world and that people are not as God had intended in the beginning...yet, it saddens me that single mothers (some fathers too) really don't have a say.  My children and many children around the world did not ask for this.

I can say that before August 2010 my children and I were close, but the heart of my middle child was searching and seeking others to tie her heart to.  I can say that since I've been home I have seen this child of mine cling to me as though life depends on it.  She's not the one that expresses herself.  She doesn't cry, she shows no emotion.  However, I've seen on several occasions where her eyes have filled with tears.  She's learning to open up, she's learning to express herself and to be honest I don't want to leave that!!!!!!  I don't want her to bottle everything up again.

I guess I'm just rambling, expressing my thoughts.  Pouring out my heart.

Discouraged

Never Ending...

Now we are dealing with a stomach virus one, by one.  UGH, it seems like each week brings something new.  I'm sick and tired of being sick!
I want to blog, there is so much I have to say.  I just can't stay well long enough to put my thoughts in a post.
OK, going to bed now...

Update on Housing

Well, the Lord has been gracious to provide a payment plan.

I've paid $400 of the now $1465.  In 2 weeks I've got to come up with $500 and then 10 days from that the remaining $565.  In looking at things as they are now, I don't know how I'll pay that nor any of the remaining bills, oh and now my van needs breaks.  But I do know that God will provide for all our needs.  It all belongs to Him anyway!!!!!

Please continue to pray and thanks so much for lifting us up before the Lord!!!

It's been a day

Today marks 1 year that my mother has been home with the Lord.  This entire week has been an emotional roller coaster, as I could replay words, steps, thoughts, and moments that led up to this point in 2009.
I've wanted to give up and walk away, but God.  If not for Him keeping me, I KNOW I would not have made it.
My children and I went to the DFW National Cemetery.  The first time we've been back since last year for her funeral.  My son stayed in the car, so it was just me and the girls.  It was not easy, but I'm glad we did it.  Even after my tears and such, I wondered would I return there?  Would I put flowers down again?  My mother is not there.  She is present with the Lord.
As we were driving back home, I was trying to figure out what we would do as a celebration of her life each year.  Here is what I came up with... we will release a balloon for each year that she has been with Jesus and light a candle at 5 pm, which is the time that the family gathered in preparation of removing her from life support.  I don't know if I will ever go back to the cemetery, but I will celebrate what a marvelous woman she was!!!!

God Is...

Sunday during praise and worship, we heard a clip played by Priscilla Shirer...

In Genesis, He's the breath of life
In Exodus, He is the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's our high priest
In Numbers, the fire by night
Deuteronomy, He's Israel's Guide
Joshua, He's salvation's choice
Judges, He's Israel's Guard
In Ruth, the kinsmen's redeemer
1st and 2nd Samuel, our trusted prophet
In Kings and Chronicles He is Sovereign
In Ezra, He's the true and faithful scribe
In Nehemiah, the re-builder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's courage
In Job, the timeless redeemer
In Psalms He is our morning song
In Proverbs, He is our wisdom
Ecclesiastes, He's the time and season
In Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream
In Isaiah He is Prince of Peace
In Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, the call from sin
Daniel, the stranger in the fire
Hosea, the forever faithful
Joel, the spirit's power
Amos, the strong-arms that carry
Obadiah, the Lord our Savior
Jonah, the great missionary
Micah, the promise of peace
Nahum, our strength and shield
In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, He's brings revival
In Haggai He restores that which was lost
IN Zachariah, He's our fountain
And in Malachi, He's the son of righteousness rising with healing in His wings
AND THAT'S JUST THE OLD TESTAMENT

In Matthew Mark Luke and John, He is God and Messiah
In the spirit filled book of Acts, He is the reigning fire from Heaven
In Romans, He is the grace of God
Corinthians, the power of love
Galatians, freedom from the curse of sin
Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servant's heartColossians, He's God and the trinity
Thessalonians, our calling King
In Timothy, Titus and Philemon, He's our mediator and our faithful pastor
In Hebrews, the everlasting courage
In James, the one who heals the sick
In 1st and 2nd Peter, our faithful shepherd
In John and Jude, He's the lover coming for His bride

AND in the Revelation, in the very end, when it's all over, said and done, when time is NO MORE. He is and will always be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace, son of Man, Lamb of God, The Great I am, Alpha and Omega, God and Savior He is Jesus Christ the Lord HE IS EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED!

If I can just get these truths engrained in my heart, mind, and life.  I want to live this out.  I want to walk it out.  I want it to shine forth from my every pore.  I want to impact women for God.  I want to share His word.

Then in that same breath I say, but can God use me?  I, who am nothing, can He use me?  Will He use me?  Someone who has no clue how to even study His Word.  Inadequate in knowledge and understanding.  His Word intimidates me, and yet, the fire is being kindled again...I want to know Him, His Word, and I want to teach it!

MIA ~ Too Sick to Post

Over the last week, I've been entirely too sick to post.
Last Friday evening as I was sewing, I began to feel bad.  My chest was hurting and everyone thought maybe I needed to go to the hospital.  I thought I just needed to lay down and so I did.  When I woke up Saturday morning, I knew I had the flu.  My body ached, I have a fever, and my throat was super sore.
By Saturday evening, I knew for sure we wouldn't be attending church Sunday and then my oldest baby girl began to feel bad as well.  I rested pretty well until Wednesday morning when I tried to go to work.  I knew I wouldn't be back that afternoon.
I finally began to feel like my old self on Friday and went to work.  I totally missed the kiddos that ride my bus.
Also on Friday, I felt well enough to finish the birthday gift for my sister.  A set of reversible place mats and matching apron.

Today, my head is still a little stuff, the coughing is still in my chest, but I'm planning to get some more sewing done!  If I can get up from this one spot. ;-)

Couple of our recipes from Thanksgiving

I don't know where some of these recipes came from originally.  I do not claim that these are my recipes, only that I've used them.

Buttermilk Pie

1 9in pie crust
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 Tablespoons flour
1 cup buttermilk
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
2 Tablespoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/2 cup butter (1 stick) melted and cooled to room temperature

Preheat oven to 400. 

In large bowl mix sugar, flour, buttermilk, lemon juice, vanilla, eggs, butter. Bake pie crust for 5 minutes.

Remove pie crust from oven and pour filling into crust. Bake for 10 min. at 400, then reduce heat to 350 and bake until set, about 40 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely. Serve at room temperature.

• Cranberry Sauce
• 
  
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1 (12 ounce) package fresh cranberries

Directions

1. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, dissolve the sugar in the orange juice. Stir in the cranberries, and cook until they start to pop (about 10 minutes). Remove from heat, and transfer to a bowl. Cranberry sauce will thicken as it cools.

Thanksgiving

While the holiday itself has come and gone, the art of being thankful is here year round.  We had a wonderful time with friends yesterday.  I'm so thankful to have them in our lives.  God knew exactly what he was doing when he purposed our meeting.  These friends aren't just mere friends, they are our family now!!!!  I love it!

Well, I didn't have time to update on the house situation.  The mortgage company extended our time to get the money together due to the holidays.  Tuesday no later than 5 pm is THE LAST day we have to get the money.  I in my own eyes don't see this happening.  I know that God is able and His view point is much greater than my own.  So it could be 4:59 pm and God bless us with the funds needed.  Yet, it could be God's will to close the door on this house all together.  Then I trust He has another door waiting to be pushed opened with our next place of residency.

I'm trusting and yet still a bit nervous as well.  God is able and I will rest in that.  He will care for me and my children and I most definitely will rest in that!

Thankful Thursday -Fellowship

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Today and every day I am so grateful for dear friends and fellowship.  There is just something about getting together with like minded friends and sharing your day with them.

We had no plans for Thanksgiving, my oldest sister went out of town, my youngest sister went to her in-loves home and me and my children were going to just hang out here at home together.  I planned our menu, not a lot.  Bought the groceries needed.  And prepared my mind and body to just relax and enjoy the day with my kiddos.  Then we got the invitation.  We totally LOVE this family.  They have become like family to us.  There are 11 children and truth be told I can't remember whose name goes with who until I get there and see all the faces! LOL ;-)  But I love them all the same.

So, our dinner we cooked on Wednesday so that we could have it on Friday...no need cooking on a day I could be sewing! LOL
We also made a few things to take to our friends.  We'll be back later this evening and hopefully we'll have some great pics for me to post.

Another thing that makes me so grateful for this family...they have been there for me an my children from the moment my mother was in the hospital last year.  This her 3rd year without her mother and my 1st year without mine.  We are kindred spirits in more ways than one.

Thinking of how she has been my rock over this past year, I'm grateful to all the rocks in my life!  You women ROCK!!!!!  Thank you for pouring into me even when you were down. Thank you for lifting me in prayer and covering my family as well.  Thank you for inspiring me to do better, live righteous, seek God, and serve my family.  Seriously, YOU ROCK!!!!

So Very Thankful

I know it's not Thanksgiving or time for my Thankful Thursday post, but I am just so filled with gratitude that I wanted to tell you all and the other many families that have blessed us with prayer and monetary gifts just how much I appreciate you.  There are many days when I think about how each of you has blessed me and many of you I don't even know.  I'm grateful to the body of Christ, but I'm even more grateful for my Savior and all He has done for me.

Have you ever been so full of gratitude that there just weren't words to express how you feel?  I feel that if I keep going, I'll be weeping.  I am blessed beyond measure!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

This is just but one sample

Just a little taste of what I'll be making....

Any idea what this is?

Sewing Area Organization

I debated over and over about reorganizing my sewing area since I don't have a new deadline to move out.  I really contemplated not doing it because I know we'll be packing it all up soon.  However, as I tried to sew Christmas gifts, I was getting totally frustrated with the area and the lack of organization.

So today, instead of sewing....even though I so wanted to just sit down and sew, I took the entire day and reorganized and rearranged my sewing area.  The girls are not sewing so I had them pack their things up and utilized their area, getting rid of my larger sewing desk.  With this setup, I even have a place for my laptop so I can watch video demonstrations while I sew.

I didn't take any before photos, but here are my after photos.  Excuse the stuff on the cutting table.  That's part of my Christmas gifts.

Now I'm too tired to sew.  So, I'll be sewing tomorrow when I get off work.  Some time in there I'll squeeze in cooking.

To all my sewing friends...

Have any idea where I can get inexpensive labels to sew on my items???

I'd like them to say Made With Love by Tasha or Handmade By Tasha

Any ideas?????

Closing Etsy???

Well, not necessarily closing it but changing what I sell, at least that's what I'm thinking.

I completely enjoyed making each burp cloth, nursing cover up, and bib.  Yet, I don't think there is much of a demand for them.  I will continue to make them, but as baby shower gifts.
I won't reveal what I am making...well, one person knows already, but she'll not tell until I reveal it. ;->
I'm praying that these items will sell well.  We shall see.

Winner of Give Away

I'm delighted as punch that there is a winner over at Love Abounds At Home.  The blessed winner Nabila not only wins a beautiful maternity apron from my dear friend, but she also wins these lovely items as well..... 

Nabila, I'll get your information from Love Abounds at Home and get this in the mail to you right away!!!!  What an awesome blessing!

Thankful Thursday -Provisions

On Saturday, the men of a dear family we know were returning from a week long hunting trip.  The 5 of them shot 8 deer.  They kept 5 for their family of 13, gave 2 to families that were hunting but were unable to hit a deer, and then, they brought one to us!!!

WooHoo for deer meat!  I love venison meat and my children are just really being introduced to it.  Out of the very large doe that we got, we were able to cut up and get 4 large roasts, which I was then able to cut in half and so we have 8 venison roasts, we also got 3 freezer bags of stew meat, then we had backstraps...never had that before, but I'm told it makes great BBQ meat.  We kept all the bones to make stock and there were some bones with meat left on and I'll use those to put in my greens or beans.

Monday night, I took one of the roasts and put it in the crock pot on low with some seasonings, onions, and bay leaf.  I also added a cup of water...venison is very lean and can dry out rather quickly.  Tuesday afternoon I added some broth, cream of mushroom soup, barley, and a bag of frozen mixed veggies.  We sat down to eat dinner rather early that evening and then I realized that would have been a perfect meal to have some cornbread with.  However, as we were all sitting at the table, it was really too late.  It didn't stop us from enjoying our meal.

It was totally delicious!!!!

So today, I'm thankful for God's provision of deer meat that will last us a while.  Only God knew that on their first hunting trip ever they would hit 8 deer and that they would bless us with one.  Meat is one less thing on my grocery list for now!!!

Praising God for his creatures!  Especially those we can eat! LOL

Preparation & Praise

I'm mentally preparing to pack things up and get them into our storage shed.  I've tried to mentally think of how we'd cook, eat, and sleep.  Neither of these is easy, but it is my reality at this point.  Come Friday, if I don't have a specific amount of money, the mortgage company will call me to tell me the specific date they will pick up the mobile home we are in.
I'm gonna be honest, cause it's all I know to be...I'm terrified, gripped in fear, and yes, shame.  I'm feeling like a bit of a failure and I'm trying to figure out what the lesson is in all of this.  What would God have me to learn from this?  What is He teaching me?  How can I use this to help someone else going through a tough situation?

I know my God loves me and my children.  I know He cares about what happens to us.  I know that His hand is upon us.  I know that He will work all things out for our good.  So today I choose to praise Him and give Him thanks for who He is.  He is still mighty.  He hasn't changed, He's still our provider, He's still our protector, and He's still God.

UPDATE on my Update

The mortgage company has called me this morning. They of course don't want to forclose on the home, as this is an extra expense for them. 

They will accept $1086 between the end of today and Friday in order for us to stay in the home. They will defer one payment (Nov. payment) and start me off owing Dec. payment of $369 on Dec. 5th. 

I need a serious miracle. I can't imagine being out in the cold with my children living in our van. That or a shelter will be our only options if we don't have a move of God in our situation. 

I can worry about the conditions of our home later if I can deal with at least knowing we will have a roof over our heads.

Please be in prayer!!!!!!

Update on Housing Situation

Well, we have approximately 3 weeks to come up with $1600 and then begin making our regular payments of $369 beginning Dec. 5 or prepare our departure.  I'm a bit down, as I am not sure what we will do.  Nothing has happened at this point, no open doors or windows.  I still know that God is able, even in the final hour.  So I'm trying to remain focused on Christ....it's hard but I'll keep pressing forward and trusting.  My children remain so brave and their faith is unwavering...believing God will provide us a home.

Please continue to lift us up before the Lord.

Thank you!!!!

Thankful Thursday

I am amazed at the vastness of this thing we call World Wide Web.  I at times loath it because I can't seem to discipline my usage of it and yet I am ever so grateful for it because without it I may never have met some of the most dearest friends across the globe that I have.

I am thankful for the numerous friendships I have encountered.  I am a blessed woman in many ways, but especially because of the number of godly women I have met via facebook, blogs, and internet groups.  I may never get to meet you all on this side of heaven, but what a great celebration it will be when we all get to heaven!

May I just take this moment to say thank you for inspiring me, speaking truth to me, encouraging me, and lifting me in prayer!!!!  I LOVE YOU ALL to pieces.

Many blessings to each of you!

Oh yeah, one of those dear friends is hosting a give away at her blog... Love Abounds at Home.  Hop on over and enter.  I'll be tossing in a bib, burp cloth, and nursing cover-up to her blessed winner!

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

I'm just warning you now that what I am about to say is various thoughts going on in my head right now.  They may or may not make any sense, but they are important to me! ;-)

Last night during our family devotions...We are using Nancy Leigh Demoss' online Habakkuk study...she brought up many valid and insightful thoughts.  I've been thinking on them through out the night and well into today and even this morning during my quiet time.

She spoke about our timing not being God's timing and that He has an appointed time for everything.  He sees the bigger picture and knows just when the timing is right for various things He has planned in our lives.  She also said that whatever you are going through, whatever the circumstances, it will not last forever!!!!!!  Hallelujah

HE WILL FINISH MY STORY!!!

I began to ponder my post from Monday.  It was a rough day, so many doubts, fears, sadness, depression, and anger began to creep in.  I knew full well that it was an attack from the enemy, but I'm blessed to say that though the attacks come, they don't last as long as they used to.  A dear friend of the family shared the words to a song with me and I immediately found the song on my ipod and played it over and over.  The first time it was playing, I think I got maybe 2 minutes into the song and my spirits began to lift as I began to praise the Lord!  Immediate transformation began to take place as I praised my DADDY!  
As I began to ponder what Nancy Leigh Demoss was saying and my blog post, I could see things from a different perspective...I was seeing things through God's point of view.  I spoke of getting weary, however, God wants me to endure and be patient.  His plans and purposes for my life will come in His time.  I need to remain hopeful and faithful while waiting on the Lord.  it will surely come, it will not delay.  It seems like there is a delay to me because I'm in the mix of it.  I am also human and I want what I want, when I want it and I want it now.  Isn't that how most of us are?  We pray about something and after a few days or weeks we get weary in praying because we figure something should have happened by now!  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH as I step on my own toes.  Then when nothing happens we take matters into our own hands.  We figure we can help God out!
Can I get an amen!  I know it to be true in my own life, so I'll just speak for me!

This spoke to me on so many levels, my kids, my housing situation, my marital circumstances.

You know I'm as honest as I can be on my blog, so I'm just gonna confess it now...I already confessed it to God anyways, I'm not trying to hide from anyone.  I STOPPED praying for my husband LONG, LONG ago.  Yep, sure did.  Saw nothing new happening, don't know where he is now, no idea if the Lord is working on his heart, so I stopped.  Why pray for something or someone that is not changing?  Yet God has something else in mind.  I must continue to pray whether I see something happening or not.  1000 years is but 1 day to God.  I long for relationship, companionship, love, you know all that stuff that comes with marriage.  I want it.  I don't believe I was one of those God intended to remain single, but in this season that is just where I am.  I don't know what God's plans are.  I don't know if He will ever allow my husband to come back.  I don't know if I will get word from his family that he has passed away one day and thus God opens the door for a new relationship.  I don't know what He's going to do or how He's going to do it, but I do know He's up to something.  I do know that my happiness should never come at the expense of obedience to the Word.  It's hard at times, because the easy road would be to divorce, court, and remarry.  However, God has not opened that door for me.  He has not released me from this marriage.  I don't know if He ever will either and honestly, that's a hard road to travel.  In the end, I know He is using this time to speak to my heart and retrain my thought process and transform my life.

Will I feel this way a week from now?  Probably not, but I know God will continue to lead me back to this until it becomes so ingrained in me that it literally becomes natural to me.  He wants me to do just as Psalm 37:3-7 says; Trust in Jehovah, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.  Delight thyself also in Jehovah; and He will give thee the desires of thy heart.  Commit thy way unto Jehovah; Trust also in Him, and He will bring it to pass.  And He will make thy righteousness to go forth as the light, and thy justice as the noon-day.  Rest in Jehovah, and wait patiently for Him...

I know one day my heart will reflect that of the Father, until then I am striving for it.
Jesus You Are...

Weary...Depression...Blessings...

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

Sadly, this is where I find myself today.  Among the praise, the provisions, the blessings...I find myself weary with our housing situation.  We still don't have a deadline and I am ever thankful for that.  We still have a roof over our heads and that is a blessing all on its own.
I'm one of those people that likes to have all my ducks in order and the limbo setting is nerve racking to me.  One of those, if I at least knew we would have a home to move into soon, then I'd have at least one answer.  I could move my mind to something else.

I know God hears me, I know the answer is already done in heaven and must come forth on earth.  I'm in the phase of wondering "how long"?  Everything just seems to be in limbo and I don't do well without stability and routine.  I'm wondering if I am out of the Will of God because I have no peace, only chaos and uncertainty.

I'm also dealing with some depression.  I feel it creeping in slowly.  I've been doing my best to think of the months in numbers and not names, but then someone reminded me that this is November and with that came the realization that we are coming up on the 1st Thanksgiving without my mom and then just weeks later the 1st yr. of her death.  I'm dreading it all and I'm wishing these months would just vanish away for this year.

With all of that going on, we have been blessed beyond measure in the last few weeks.  People from all over have blessed us with prayers, finances, and kind words.  I am so thankful for each of them.  This is what the body of Christ is supposed to look like!!!  To see the outpouring from so many has been mind boggling.  I can't even grasp a full understanding of it all.  Thank you just seems so inadequate to express how I feel.  My heart is overwhelmed.  Yet, I praise God for each of you!!!!

Ok, off to kinda think of some gifts for my sisters for Christmas.  I'm thinking lap quilts with some of the scraps I have around here or maybe matching napkins and placemats.  Any ideas?

Thankful Thursday

   I'm going to take each Thursday in the month of November to share what or who I am thankful for, after all, this is the month of Thanksgiving!  I didn't originally come up with this idea, but got it from my dear friend .  She is a sweetheart and I thank her for allowing me to use her idea.

She was/is thankful for her Titus 2 mentors.  While I didn't realize that my mother was my Titus 2 mentor until AFTER she had gone home to glory, I'm still thankful, nonetheless.

  This time around, I have to say that I am most thankful for God and the spiritual growth I am experiencing at this point and time in my life.  I'm thankful that my heart is soft to receive all that God is showing and teaching me.  My freedom to worship Him, openly praise Him, and speak of His goodness means more to me than life.  I can't imagine the persecution our sisters and brothers in Christ face in other countries, having to hide out and meet in secret just to read His word or worship.

I pray I never take these things for granted.  It saddens me that we literally have a church on every corner here in America and yet many choose not to go and worship, many go and choose not to live according to His word, and yet there are some that would love to have the opportunity to worship freely and have choices in which church they would attend.

I've been a Christian for about 13 years.  I'm thankful for my salvation, but I'm excited to finally see some spiritual growth in my life and the lives of my children.  I pray that it accelerates, as I want to know more and more about My God and grow deeper in my walk with Him.  Boldness for the sake of Christ is what I'm searching for.

What are you thankful for this first Thursday in November?

Wednesday Night Bible Study

I wanted to post this last night when we got home from church, but the late hour and the fact that I was going to be getting up at 4:30 to take Ari to work (only 5 hours of sleep), was a factor I chose not to contend with! ;-)

1 Samuel 15:22-23 And Samuel said, Has the Lord a great delight in burned offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness (insubordination) is as iniquity and idolatry.  Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has also rejected you from being king.


How many times have I quoted this scripture to my children when they were little?  So many times I can't count it on my fingers anymore.  After last night though, I wondered if I had the explanation of this scripture for myself and for them would things had been different in my youth and would it had saved my children some heartache as well?!

Rebellion- is the refusal to obey or obey completely and it is equal to the sin of witchcraft (playing around with cults and demons).  It opens you up to the demonic realm.

WWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Yes, that's exactly what I was saying while I wrote that down last night.  I'm a scary person by nature.  The demonic and cult realm scare me.  To me it's like drugs/alcohol and they scare me.  With drugs/alcohol you aren't in full control of yourself.  To me, that's what the demonic and cult realm are like.  Then it scares me because if I'm foolin' around with that, then that means I'm not on my Daddy's side...He's not living within me.  And truth be told, I want Him all up in my mix!!!!

But then I just sat there in shock, horror, shame, regret, etc.  When we disobey God, we invite the demonic into our thoughts, lives, and relationships.

To think that insubordination means to refuse to come under legitimate authority is as idolatry and idolatry is ANYTHING you are using to replace God.  Well, by this point, my spirit within me was really heavy and I began to repent and ask God to show me specifically where I had allowed the door of my life open to the enemy and his minions.

The example given was as follows:  A man walked up to the pastor and told him he wanted a divorce from his wife.  He realized that now he had married a demon and he wanted out.  The pastor said he knew this man well and the situation and had counseled him previously.  He turned to the man and said, you refuse to come in line with your Spiritual Authority, you've opened the door of your home, marriage, and family to the evil one and now you want out?  I say to you today, repent, get in line with your Spiritual Authority, and see if your home life does not begin to change.

When the husband refuses to come under the authority of God, he invites demons into his home and family.  The he doesn't want to live with what he's invited in.  Children may reflect the demons that the father has allowed in by being out of order.  Wives may also reflect those demons.  You don't just walk away from that, you get your house in order.
Sadly this made me think about my own home and made me wonder.  I won't go into detail, but I will say I can pinpoint the exact time period and what was going on when things began to get out of order and it had to do with my husband.

Speaking of which, I'm asking for sincere prayer for this man.  I have had no contact with him and don't know where he is.  However, one of his sisters contacted me and though they don't talk and she claims to not know where he is either, she did share some concerns with me.  He is deeply, deeply involved in a cultic religion.  This sister once lived in great sin and recently (about a yr. ago) gave her life to Christ and began to make a turn around.  He basically told her to go and continue in sin because her life was so much better then.  When she refused, he got extremely upset with her. She did say that he fears dying alone as his father did.  When I say his father's life and his life are a mirror image at this point in time, I'm being very honest.  That grieves my heart.  I know God's desire is that none of us perish and yet we all have free will.  But when I think back...this man knows Truth.  He received/accepted Christ and was baptized.  So to hear about a change in him such as this, is very disheartening.
Satan deceives so that he can get us to disobey, thereby, unlocking the doors of our lives to him.  I'm afraid that this is what has taken place in his life and I saw when it began to happen.  I'm saddened that I was not more spiritually mature to discern then what was taking place.

So the question that was put before us and I now put before you is:  What have you partially obeyed or completely disobeyed that has allowed the enemy entry into your life or the lives of your family?  Repent and ask God to rid your life of the demonic influence.

SOOOOOOOO MANY PRAISES!!!!

I don't even know where to begin.  The MIRACLE we are praying for has not happened yet, but all things God does are miracles.

We have baby guineas!!!  Out of the 30 something guineas we had, we only ended up with 2 males and 1 female.  The female laid eggs earlier this summer, but one by one they all disappeared.  Then we noticed about 30 days ago that she laid more.  I figured we'd just see what happened.  A friend came to pick up Ari for work this morning and she noticed the chicks!!! To our surprise, God's creation.....we have 16 living chicks.  WOO HOO life is so amazing no matter whose it is.  You would have thought we had won the lottery the way I was jumping around outside!!! ;-)  They are the cutest things.

The donations through Gleaning The Harvest in the last 24 hours has overwhelmed us!  We can't believe that so many that we don't even know have blessed us in such awesome and mighty ways.  Plus a dear friend stopped by and blessed us with some much needed resources yesterday while we were at church!  Today we are headed out to buy each a pair of shoes for the winter and a couple of items of clothing to prepare for the winter!  This is totally awesome!  I'm paying bills and buying food. 

It really is the simple things in life that absolutely mean sooooo much!!!!

I also cannot forget the thousands of prayers going up on our behalf!  God's children are amazing.  

Ok, then the family that Ari is now working for asked how much it would take for us to get to Wednesday night Bible study.  She then said not to worry about IF we could go, we would only NOT go if something else happened to keep us from going, and gas would not be one of those things to stop us because her family wants to make sure we have gas to get to church every Wednesday night!!!!  Can you believe that?  WOW!!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

because we have no phone right now, she wants to get us one so we can at least have it here in case it's needed!!!!  

NOW tell me...is there anyone greater than GOD????  

There is NOBODY GREATER THAN HIM!!!

And we are STILL praying for that miracle!  HE'S ABLE!

Could I be praying for the right miracle in the wrong way?

Ok, so it seems I'm doing all the talking during the day....I am not known for being quiet and listening to the Lord during my daily devotions and prayer time often.  I am usually awakened nightly between 1 and 2:30 every morning.  The Lord has usually laid things on my heart during this time and I'm ALWAYS amazed!

So last night I went to bed thinking I would get to sleep in till about 7ish at least.
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
I was awakened around 1:20 this morning and was up until around 5:30ish.  The thought was could I be praying for the right miracle in the wrong way?  I'm praying for a debt free home, red, with white trim. (don't ask...I just want a red home with white trim). LOL

Could it be that God will raise up the $23,000 to pay off this house so that it is completely ours and debt free?  Could it be that God will raise up brothers and sisters in Christ to help me repair all the things in this home so that we can live in every room of this house?  Could it be that I will paint this home red with white trim?

Now, I'm about to list the needs in this home and I pray I don't offend anyone.  I pray that it is not looked upon in the wrong sense.  I'm just being obedient.

As many of you know, my mom passed away last Dec. (It's hard to believe it's almost a year already).  We have lived on her land for the last 10 years.  She left all the land to her grandchildren.  So my desire is really to stay here on her land, even though it is hard to not see her piddling with her flowers daily.
The single wide mobile home was a blessing from a dear friend when we were losing our double wide mobile home, shortly after my husband left.  I covered the $369 payments until recently.  It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath.
So here goes, $23,000 is owed on this home.  If paid off, it would be a bit less because all the interest would not be included.  The home is well over 10 years old and all the pipes under the home are busted.  We aren't able to use the bathrooms, but a port-a-potty.  I won't explain how we bathe, but WE DO BATHE! ;-)  Several places in the flooring in the master bedroom and bathroom have rotted out from leaking as well as the kitchen.  We wash laundry at night because the water pours from beneath the house and I know I could be fined BIG TIME if this was known.
My girls share a room and my son and I sleep in the living room on two twin beds.  The living room is also our computer room, class room, and sewing room.  A bit crowded, but we make it work.

So, I didn't share that for sympathy, but what if.....  The world has Extreme Home Makeovers.  What if the body of Christ did for God's children what the world is doing?
What if this house was paid off, the repairs done, and painted red with white trim!!!  I would have the same miracle I'm praying for.  I KNOW God is more than able!

So again, Could I be praying for the right miracle in the wrong way?

Gotta Praise!!!!

WHERE DO I START?

Yesterday evening my oldest daughter was offered and accepted a nanny job that we KNOW will go through March.  Things will be reevaluated then to see if the lady will continue to work full time.

Ariante` is 18.  She will graduate in Dec.  She's been wanting a job for the past 5 years to help her mamma out and save for her schooling/missions trips through Christ For the Nations.  She will now be able to take over 2 bills and save.  This job will not only provide for her, our family, but also prepare her to be a wife/mom one day.  she will be cleaning and caring for a baby as well.  She's totally excited!!!

Also, my 17 year old, Akyra will be working part time (at least through Dec.) and she will take over half a major bill.  She will basically be a mother's helper.  She too will be learning even more to care for a home, cleaning and organizational skills, etc.  (It's a good thing I insisted they learn these things at home)!

We are all very excited and praising God for His provisions.

It takes our needs from $1100 a month down to $700 a month.  As we evaluate their pay, that may go down even further!!!!!

Can you say PRAISE THE LORD????  I AM!!!!!!!!

Also, a dear friend posted our needs on her website.  It was unknown to me until afterwards and she asked me to not be mad at her.  I'm not mad, but I am just amazed at the outpouring of love from others in Christ.  Someone is bringing us food, material so I can sew me some dresses and skirts, we've been offered various places to stay when they do come to get this home, etc.  It is just mind boggling to me how when the body of Christ comes together, needs are met.

The question then arises in my mind, if the body of Christ would come together on a regular basis like this, could we eliminate the struggles of single mama's?  Could we help the homeless more?  Instead of counting on the world to do for HIS children, we come together and do our parts....we really could be world changers!

Lawry's Giveaway

Check out Mommy of 2 Girls blog to find out more about this giveaway.  I honestly didn't know that Lawry's made other products other than season salt!!!  Hmmm, where have I been?  HA HA, you can tell I don't watch tv much.
Head on over and check it out!

Walking in the Wilderness

Exodus 5:1 ~ And afterward Moses and Aaron went in, and told Pharaoh, Thus says the Lord God of Israel, LET MY PEOPLE GO, THAT THEY MAY HOLD A FEAST TO ME IN THE WILDERNESS.

I've often wondered why did they have to go into the wilderness to celebrate the Lord.
Over the last couple of days I have listened and re-listened over and over again to a sermon by Pastor Tony Evans.  Revival: The Return of God to His People.  I've listened to it sooo many times that you would think I could quote it by heart and that there couldn't possibly be something new to get out of this sermon.

As I was walking around the kitchen, listening to this sermon yet again, a statement jumped out at me regarding Exodus 5:1.  Pastor explained it like this...
We think the purpose of Pharaoh letting God's people go was so that they could get to the promised land.  That was part of the reason, but before that, He wanted to develop them in the wilderness.  He put them in a situation in the wilderness to learn to put God first, to trust Him, to walk with Him, to Serve Him.  So that when they got to the promised land they wouldn't forget God.

I thought they wandered around because of the grumbling, complaining, sinning within the people.  And then this statement jumped out at me and I tell you God spoke to me.

I am in the wilderness.  I did hear God correctly about quitting the full time job and getting closer to home.  However, God is developing me in this wilderness moment.  It is in this place that God will develop my walk, faith, trust, and relationship with Him.

I seriously ask for prayers.  I am coveting your prayers.  I know that in this wilderness time as God is developing me, that the enemy is upset.  He knows how powerful getting serious about God is.  When people of God get serious about getting right with God, the enemy comes out with all he has.  He will seek ways to disrupt and distract me from getting serious about God.  I go into this with the expectation that the enemy will come, but I'm also praying that he will not be successful with his schemes.  Please cover me and my children in prayer, that the wiles of the enemy will be thwarted.

I want to wear...

more dresses.  I miss my dresses and for the life in me can't remember why I did away with them.  I don't want to look frumpy and I don't want to be legalistic, but I did feel more feminine in my dresses.
I think when things settle down with my finances a bit I will head to a few thrift stores and find me some dresses!!!  I wish I had more fabric of my liking...I'd make me a few as well. Sighhhhhhhhh

Refiners Fire

Can I be honest with you?  I hate it!!!

The last three months have been excruciatingly hard for me, but it has brought to the surface the impurities in my heart and life.

Me have impurities????  You better believe it!!!

When you aren't going through the fire, you can wear a mask that the world sees, but God is looking at your heart and shaking His head and grieving.  He knows what is in you.  He knows what you are exhibiting to others is not the real you.  He knows the junk that is in you and He wants to get it out so that He can mold you to be more like Christ.
This is not easy, fun, nor something we (especially I) look forward to.
Nevertheless, this is exactly what has been taking place in my life since August 1.

If you remember, I quit a full time job making $3000 a month to work 2 part time jobs making approximately $1000 a month and cleaning houses.  I had planned to take that last full paycheck from my previous employer and pay all bills for the month of August and part of September and financially be ready to deal with the bills working with less each month about mid September.  I had planned it really well.  However, when I opened my mailbox on Aug. 2, I was plunged into reality and a depth of depression, despair, and uncertainty.  I received a final check of $1.56.  Yes, you read that right...one dollar and fifty six cents.  Upon further investigation with the company and through the labor board, I apparently received my July check on July 1 (even though on July 1 I hadn't worked a day in July).  Go figure....I've quite trying to understand this one.  Then the 2 part time jobs and houses has turned out to be one part time job and one house.  So from $3000 to less than $500 a month, with bills ranging from $1400-$1500 per month.

All my best laid plans were dashed and the true depth of my relationship with Christ and trust in Christ were revealed.  Basically, I've trusted in what I could see and what I could do.  So my trust in Christ was a bit shallow.  I had been leaning on my on self as my source and not the God of the Bible.  This time period has even had me questioning my relationship with Christ.  It has revealed some things that I didn't want to readily admit.

I AM SAVED!!!!  I DO BELIEVE IN GOD AND I HAVE ACCEPTED CHRIST AS MY SAVIOR.  There is no argument there.
But my faith and trust in God were/are shaky.  My relationship with Christ...shallow.
But God doesn't want shaky faith and trust, nor a shallow relationship.

This time made me question God.  Yet as the days have gone by, I had to and am having to question myself.  You see God didn't change...Malachi 3:6 For I am the Lord, I change not; Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.
So if God didn't change, that means I did.  Instead of drawing closer to God, I have allowed my circumstances to draw me away from Him and His Word.  The enemy has used this time to disrupt and distract me because he knows that the victory and answers I've been seeking are in God.  I misjudged him yet again!!!!!  I was looking for the enemy to come at me one way and he snuck in on me from a different way! UGHHHHHHHH

I've questioned if I heard God correctly.  Did I follow my own heart or did I truely hear from God to walk away from that job to be closer to home and my children?  I know sometimes He will tell us things to do that don't make since in this world.  He will have us do what seems illogical and makes no sense and yet in the end it will have brought us right to a place and in alignment with where God wanted us to be all along.
I'm on the verge of being homeless and a shelter or my van are the only options at this point and time.  Money is tight.  There are many meals skipped, not because we aren't hungry, but because we have no food.  I could go on and on, but I'm not trying to get you to a point of feeling sorry for us, but just get you to a point of understanding where I am right now.
So I've questioned, God did I hear you right?  Did I do what You wanted?  Why can't I hear directions from You now?  Where are You in my trouble?

I don't know if my house will be saved...I don't have the finances to catch up the payment nor to pay the monthly payments even if I could catch it up.  But that is neither here nor there, I need to be one with God.  That is most important!!!

I'm going to be camping out in 1 Samuel 7 for the next few days, as well as the book of Habakkuk.  Pastor Evans has a teaching on OnePlace.com with a sermon titled Revival: The Return of God to His People dated October 12/13, you can listen for free.  This is helping me a great deal right now!  It's giving me a greater understanding of what I have done and am doing and need to do.
I'm also going to be cutting back on things that are taking away my time with God.  Facebook is one of them.  I will be accessing it only twice a week beginning this week.
I know this is one area robbing me and distracting me.  I had also learned that since I am a person that MUST have a schedule to function, that I need to write in things that even seem obvious to me...devotion time, quiet time, church services, etc.  So I have done that on my laptop and now need to transfer this onto my calendar we have on the wall.

I covet your prayers, as I know the enemy doesn't mind us professing Christ, but the moment we start talking about getting to know Him more or drawing closer to Him, he will do all to usurp those plans and intentions.  So if me or my family come to your mind, please lift us up to the Lord.  My heart cries for a closeness with God that will only come from delving into His Word!!!

Share your thoughts...

It is my understanding that many Christians are saying we are no longer under the law of the Old Testament, but free from the law.

I have a different understanding of this.  I understand it to mean we are no longer under the law to ensure our salvation.  Because if we are no longer under the law in the Old Testament then that would throw the Ten Commandments out and murder, adultery, lying, stealing, etc. would be acceptable.  I'm just saying if we are free from the law in the Old Testament, then the Old Testament is of no importance to our lives today and we can strike it null and void and there is no reason to read it, nor include it in the Bible today.
Maybe I'm not making myself clear so if you can help bring clarity, please do!  Thanks

Anyone have a different understanding?  Please share...don't attack, but share.  Ultimately we must take it before God and allow Him to illuminate His truth to us.

God Brought Forth a Son

On this day 15 years ago, I was giving birth to my only son.  I remember for years saying I only wanted girls.  It wasn't that I didn't want a boy, but I was so afraid of all the things that a boy would/could be faced with.  (Yes in my young, naive mind I didn't think the girls would be face with these challenges)...Gangs, drugs, drafted into the military, and on and on it went.
Then in 1994 I went to Illinois to help my mother with my brother who was dying.  He too was the only son.  We stayed for several months, me and the kids, and when we returned back to my husband in Houston, I told him I wanted a son.  (LIKE HE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT! LOL)
In January of 1995 I conceived my son.  I was sick 8 months of the pregnancy.  It seemed to me that the enemy wanted to attack this baby even before birth.  I think I gained all my pregnancy weight in that one month I wasn't sick because I ate everything that wasn't moving.  Prior to that, the doctor threatened to put me in the hospital because I couldn't keep anything down.
Then October came and my mom prayed her grandson would be born on her birthday, October 8th.  That date came and went and she was disappointed, but prayed it would still be close to her birthday.  Eight days later we talked on the phone and she again said, I think you are in labor.  Head to the hospital and get in touch with your doctor.  HA HA, she was right AGAIN!!!!
They wanted contractions to come stronger and faster and gave me pitocin....EVIL DRUG!!!!!  It didn't work.  God had not only the date in mind, but the time too.
When I laid eyes on that little chubby baby who weighed almost 9 pounds, whewwwwwwww, I fell in love.
I prayed for God to cover him and gave Him all my fears.  My children were my delight and now I had a son.  I often look at him and think of my brother who passed almost a full year before his birth.
When my dad came to the hospital to see him for the first time, he lifted up his feet and hands and said they were huge.  That his hands were so big he'd palm a basketball one day and his feet so big he'd surely be as tall as his grandpa...6'6".
His favorite sport is basketball, but that height thing....well, we still have time.  He has no idea what his grandpa said, but he often prays and has said, "mom, I want to be as tall as grandpa was". :-)

I'm so proud to call you son.  I love your comical side, but I cherish your compassionate side.  Your heart is so big and you've had a love for God all your life.  You professed early in life to speak God's truth and share it with others and the enemy has tried to snuff you out a couple of times already, but that's because he knows the gift within you and how it will change the world when God says it's time to bring it forth.
Your grandmother was proud of you and always stood up for you...she gave you your nickname by the way.

You never fail to make me laugh and I'm never at a loss for hugs...even now that you are 15!!!! ;-)  Many refer to you as a mama's boy and you are proud of it and will agree with them in a heart beat.  I'm proud you are not ashamed.  I suspect even through the years to come you will proclaim it from the roof tops that you're a mama's boy and you love your mama!

I can't climb to the roof, but I can yell it loud and clear, I'm your mama and I love you!!!!
Happy 15th Birthday my baby boy!

Happy Birthday Momma!

 She will forever be the queen of my heart. Today she would have been 68 years old and though she is not here for me to tell her Happy Birthday, the feelings are still the same. I miss her more than ever.
If your mom is alive, don't take these moments for granted. If you can't get to her to hug her, at least call her and tell her how much you love her. Don't let a moment pass that you will later regret, cherish her now...time is much too short and gone before you know it.
Mom, I can't believe you are gone, I can't believe I can't walk out my door and see you piddling with your flowers, I can't believe I can't hear your voice or see your smile. Your name was only a glimpse into the jewel that you were. It's been a hard 10 months without you, but I thank you for the YOU I see in us! Your legacy will forever live on and we will always remember to Keep God First!!!!


She was a jewel, FAR ABOVE RUBIES!!!!  She often wondered why her mother named her Ruby (her mother died when she was just 18 months old).  I believe her mother saw the priceless gem that she was.  I'm sure when she met her on Dec. 9, 2009, she asked her.  What a joy that must have been.  


There are so many things I cherish about her.  She loved to live life and she lived it to the fullest.  She was a classy lady!  Her style was all her own and she wowed folks with her cooking!  Man, I can taste all my favorites now.  She was a mom to many all over the world.  Everyone she met would call her momma and she never hesitated to invite them into our home.  For years I said I was looking for that Titus 2 Woman in my life...I missed it, she was there all along.  Now as I look back to how she welcomed people in our home, fed them, nurtured them, and cared for them...she was modeling hospitality.  She wasn't afraid to share Jesus and often said Put God First, though she didn't learn until later in life exactly what that meant or how to do it.  


She was beautiful!  I loved to see peoples faces when they found out how old she was.  HA she never looked her age.  The picture below was her last birthday before she passed...doesn't look a day of 67!  I always thought it funny to watch the men stare at my momma and she never looked back, just kept right on walking as though she didn't notice.  There was never a woman as beautiful to me as she was.  


I love/loved her beyond measure.  I often pray she knew that!  I don't think I said it enough or showed her enough.  I didn't realize time would be so short.  
After losing my brother to Aids, she said she had lost too many children in death and didn't want to lose anymore, we were to bury her, not her bury her children.  Not long after that statement, she went home to be with the Lord.  
No more pain, no more tears, just shouts of joy and laughter!  One day we'll see her again, but until then, she's watching over us and I believe she would be pleased.

RUBY

THE JEWEL IN MY HEART

In honor of my mother, I've launched my Etsy shop.  If you will be a new mother or need a gift for a new mother to be, please consider purchasing one of my items.  There will be several items.  At the moment Nursing Cover ups, but soon I will add burp cloths, bibs, snugglies, crib sheets, and crib quilts.  Check back often!!!!  Blessings